A pantry is full and the person standing in front of it says there is nothing to eat.
That is nearly every conversation I have about material. Somebody tells me they have no stories, and in the next ten minutes they tell me three, and they do not notice they have done it because none of them felt like a story while they were saying it.
The supply is not the problem. Nobody gets to sixty without accumulating decades of usable material. The filter is the problem, and the filter has been calibrated by the wrong thing.
Why do people think they have nothing?
Because they are measuring against published memoirs, where somebody climbed a mountain or survived something.
Against that standard, an ordinary working life looks like nothing happened. No war, no catastrophe, no dramatic reversal. Just decades of turning up and doing things, which does not sound like a book.
What that comparison misses is that the mountain is not what makes the memoir work. Specificity is. A reader remembers a detail they can see, and a detail from an ordinary Tuesday is as vivid as one from a summit, sometimes more so because they recognize it.
The second reason is proximity. Your own life is the one thing you cannot read as a stranger. The story you have told forty times sounds worn out to you and is completely new to everybody else, and you have no way of feeling that from inside.
The book on this: Behind the Wire exists because one man in a family was asked, once, by a bored teenager on a folding chair.
What makes an ordinary thing usable?
That something in it did not go the way it should have.
Not drama. A gap between what was supposed to happen and what did. A rule that turned out not to apply, an assumption that broke, a small thing that mattered more than it should have.
A brick propping a door open defeats a security system worth thousands, which is where Family Cybersecurity starts. That is not a dramatic event. It is a gap, and everybody who has worked in an office recognizes it instantly.
Once you look for gaps instead of drama, a normal life turns out to be full of them. The problem was never the material. It was that the search was set to find something that mostly does not happen to anybody.
The book on this: Family Cybersecurity is built almost entirely from ordinary afternoons: a brick, a microwave, a router nobody had looked at.
Does this work for a business book too?
Better, because business books are starved of it.
The material an executive dismisses is precisely the material a business book needs. The negotiation that nearly failed for a stupid reason. The hire that did not work and why you missed it. The project that succeeded for reasons nobody predicted.
Those get left out because they are not achievements. They are the parts where somebody was wrong, and the instinct in a business book is to present a record of competence.
What a reader wants is the opposite. Competence is assumed by that you are writing the book. What they cannot get anywhere else is the moment it was uncertain.
How do you find the material you are throwing away?
Ask other people what you have told them.
This is the most reliable method I know and almost nobody tries it. Your own filter is broken by familiarity. Somebody who knows you does not have that problem, and they will name three things you would never have volunteered.
The second method is to look at the decisions instead of the events. Every significant decision has a story attached, because you decided under uncertainty and something tipped it. Those are usually more interesting than the outcomes, and they are the part that gets summarised out.
The third is to look at what irritates you. A long-standing irritation is a position you hold, and behind the position there is nearly always a specific incident that installed it.
The book on this: The Dead Don’t Need Stuff came out of a decision not taken, which is the sort of material nobody thinks to write down.
What should you do with the material once you have it?
Write it down badly and immediately, in whatever form you can manage.
The material degrades. Not the fact of it, but the specifics, which are the part with all the value. What somebody wore, the exact sentence, the smell of the room. Those go first and they go without warning, and once they are gone the story becomes a summary of a story.
I have watched this happen at close range more than once, and the version I think about most became Behind the Wire, from a man who could have told anybody in his family what happened to him and was only ever asked by a bored teenager. The stories that got written down are the ones that got asked about in time.
You do not need a plan for the material. You need it out of your head and somewhere it cannot fade, and the shaping can happen years later.
What if it still feels too ordinary?
Test it on somebody, and watch their face instead of asking their opinion.
People are polite about writing and unreliable about assessment. What they cannot fake is attention. Tell the thing you think is boring and watch whether they stop doing what they were doing. That reaction is more accurate than any answer they would give you.
Almost every time I have run this with a client convinced they had nothing, the reaction has been the opposite of the prediction.
If this is where you are, is my story worth a book and I don’t know what it’s about both sit alongside this one. The Memoir Hub has the rest, and my ghostwriting service exists in large part because the person with the material is the worst placed to judge it. The pantry is full. Learn to look at the shelves.
The Guides That Get Your Book Written, Published, and Sold
Four short, practical guides on writing, publishing, and selling your book, plus the occasional note when there's something worth your time. No fluff, no daily inbox clutter. Drop your email and they're yours.
We use MailerLite to manage our list and send these emails. Your address is used only to send you what you signed up for. We will not sell it, share it, or use it for anything else, and you can unsubscribe anytime.
Frequently Asked Questions
