What cell phones have done to people in public is depressing. Have you noticed how completely people disappear into these small screens, hypnotized, forgetting entirely where they are? Once you start watching for it, you see it everywhere.
What does phone obsession look like?
I was driving in the fast lane behind someone crawling at under thirty in a forty-five zone. Passing on the right, I glanced over and saw the driver mid-argument on her phone, shouting, waving her arms, hands nowhere near the wheel. In a supermarket, a woman treated everyone within earshot to a screaming phone fight with her husband about his affair, continuing at full volume right through the checkout line.
What cell phones have done to people in public is depressing.
I watched a young man step into the street without looking, so absorbed in his screen that a car missed him by inches, and he had the gall to flip off the driver who nearly killed him.
I stepped into an elevator where all six passengers stared silently into their phones.
In a massage studio lounge, a dozen people who could have relaxed or talked instead fiddled with their screens. Two receptionists at a company I worked for were fired partly for excessive texting. When I joked that the average teenager sends over two thousand texts a month, one told me that was nothing, her last bill showed over ten thousand. She didn’t really have a life in the real world. Communication, for her, happened entirely through a screen.
How dangerous is phone distraction, really?
It goes well past rude. In 2008 a train collision in Chatsworth, California killed twenty-five people and injured more than a hundred. It was first blamed on faulty signals, but the investigation found the engineer had been texting and missed perfectly working signals. That’s an extreme case, but every year thousands are injured or killed because someone was texting or talking behind the wheel.
A Car and Driver test found texting while driving more dangerous than driving drunk, and a Virginia Tech study showed that texting, talking, or even dialing dramatically raises the odds of a crash. People who’d never dream of driving drunk do this every day, and I think the law and the rest of us let them off far too lightly.
Younger people find it hard to believe that almost no one carried a phone until a couple of decades ago. You made a call from a home landline or fished quarters out of your pocket for a payphone. (More on Ammon Shea’s history of the phone book)
It’s entirely possible to survive without being connected every hour of every day. It’s healthier to put the phone down, turn it off, and do something that doesn’t involve a tiny screen, and I’ll take that trade every time.
My take
Phones in the car and at the dinner table cost more than anybody admits. I’ve watched a driver argue on a phone with both hands off the wheel, and a young man nearly get hit stepping into the street. Nobody in those moments was paying attention to the world in front of them. I’ve been as guilty as anyone, and I still say the text can wait until you’re parked, while the car next to you won’t wait at all. Put the phone away.
What changed for me
I was as guilty of this as anyone. For years I glued myself to my phone to avoid talking to people or just to fill time at a restaurant. I argued on it in public, I walked into the road staring at it, and yes, I texted and talked while driving, and collected a ticket or two for it.
No more. When I drive, the phone goes in the trunk.
It still connects to the car by Bluetooth so I can take a call if I want, but I can’t be tempted to do anything else with it. My eyes stay on the road, where nothing is more important. I carry a Kindle now, so if I want something to do while waiting or eating, I have millions of books instead of a feed.
In a restaurant, an elevator, anywhere in public, the phone stays in my pocket and I look around and talk to people. Most of them turn out to enjoy a friendly conversation with a stranger. It’s far better than staring at a screen, because the world exists out there, not in a small glowing rectangle in your hand.
| Situation | What I’ve seen | What I do now |
|---|---|---|
| Driving | A driver arguing on her phone with both hands off the wheel | Phone goes in the trunk, connected by Bluetooth for calls |
| Crossing the street | A young man stepped out staring at his screen and nearly got hit | Anywhere in public, the phone stays in my pocket |
| Restaurants | I used to glue myself to the phone to fill time | Phone stays in my pocket; I carry a Kindle instead |
| Elevators and waiting rooms | Six passengers, or a dozen people in a lounge, all staring at screens | I look around and talk to people |
Turn Off the TV, Get Off Your Ass, and Do Something is my book on getting your time back from the screens. I first wrote it in 2016 and rewrote it for 2026.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Collision of Metrolink Train 111 with Union Pacific Train LOF65-12, National Transportation Safety Board
- Texting And Driving Worse Than Drinking and Driving, CNBC
- Study: Texting Raises Crash Risk 23-Fold, CBS News
