When you build a house yourself, you become the general contractor. You pick the lot, the plans, the paint and the roofers. Nobody tells you the kitchen is too small or the porch faces the wrong way. You also get every phone call when the drywall crew doesn’t show up, and you’re the one who has to know a good electrician from a guy with a truck and a business card.
Self-publishing a memoir is the same deal. Your book, your call on every decision, and your problem when something goes wrong.
Most memoirists who aren’t famous end up building that house themselves, whether they planned to or not. That’s my advice too.
Should a memoirist who isn’t famous query literary agents?
My answer is no. Memoirs aren’t selling well through traditional publishing right now, if they’re selling at all. The market is swamped with them, and the memoirs the big houses do buy mostly come from people with a famous name or a huge audience already attached.
A writer in a memoir group laid out the choice recently. Her first book was nearly done, and she was standing at the fork between querying and self-publishing, worried she’d stand there until she turned to dust.
The replies said a lot. One writer had collected about fifty rejections on each of two books before self-publishing both, and good reviews followed. Another had come close with an agent years ago, got a polite no, and self-published. A third, at 74, chose self-publishing because she didn’t want to wait three years after landing an agent to hold the book.
Querying asks you to accept a hard trade. Months or years of letters, a stack of form rejections, and if you do land an agent, a long wait for a publisher. At the end of all that, the publisher still expects you to sell the book yourself. More on how agents work is in my piece on literary agents, and if a big imprint would change your career, querying can still be worth a try. For most memoirs, it’s a long road to the same marketing job you’d have anyway.
I’d skip that road.
Watch: Your Complete Guide to Publishing a Book in 2026, Alyssa Matesic
What does self-publishing a memoir give you?
Complete freedom.
You decide the title, the cover, the price, the release date and what stays in the book. Nobody cuts the chapter about your father because a marketing meeting thought it was a downer. Nobody holds the book for two years to fit a publishing calendar.
You also keep your rights. I wouldn’t sign away lifetime rights to a book for a modest advance unless the money was enormous, because you lose control of the book for good and getting the rights back is a nightmare. I explained why in what a lifetime rights deal for a modest advance costs you.
Self-publishing a memoir gives you complete freedom. The bill for that freedom is that you do it all yourself, or you hire help without getting scammed.Share on X
What’s the catch with self-publishing a memoir?
It costs you the job of doing everything. Editing, cover design, interior layout, ISBNs, the retailer accounts, the description, the categories and every bit of the marketing land on your desk. You have to figure each one out, and most first-time authors don’t know which of those jobs they don’t know how to do.
The platforms have their own surprises, too. I published on Amazon KDP for years until it terminated my account over a subtitle change I made by following its own instructions, and I couldn’t reach a human to fix it. I moved everything to IngramSpark. It still gets my books onto Amazon, and it gives me more control over where they go. You don’t need my story to repeat, but you should know what you’re signing up for, and my comparison of the publishing platforms covers the options.
Thousands of authors learn all of it every year. It’s work, and the work never goes away, because the book keeps needing attention after launch day.
| Factor | Querying agents | Self-publishing |
|---|---|---|
| Best for | Writers a big imprint would change, who can wait years | Memoirists who aren’t famous |
| Market | Big houses mostly buy memoirs from famous names or huge audiences | Open to anyone |
| Timeline | Months or years of letters, then a long wait for a publisher | You set the release date |
| Control | Others can cut chapters or hold the book for a calendar | You decide title, cover, release date and content |
| Marketing | The publisher still expects you to sell the book | You sell it yourself, mostly through direct contact |
| The work | Rejections pile up while you wait | Editing, cover, layout, ISBNs and marketing land on your desk |
| Main risk | A stack of form rejections | Scammers who target first-time memoir writers |
How do you hire help without getting scammed?
You can hire somebody for every one of those jobs, and plenty of good editors, cover designers and formatters do honest work. The trouble is that there are too many scams sitting right beside them, and memoir writers are a favorite target. A first book is personal, the author wants it done right, and somebody always shows up promising to handle everything for a package price.
A few rules keep you safe. Hire individual professionals for specific jobs, and look at work they’ve already done. Never pay a “publisher” to publish you, because a real publisher pays the author. Be suspicious of anybody who contacts you first with flattering words about your book. And treat any promise of guaranteed sales or a bestseller list as a reason to walk away.
Check every hire the way you’d check a contractor. Ask for samples, read the contract, and pay in stages tied to finished work. I’ve written about the patterns in Amazon publishing scams and the scam emails authors get, and about why a publishing package is a different animal from real help in ghostwriter versus publishing package.
Is a developmental edit worth $1,300 for a memoir?
It depends on the book, and you’re not the right judge of that.
Nobody is a fair judge of their own memoir. You lived it, so every gap in the story fills itself in when you read it. The scene that makes perfect sense to you is missing the three facts a stranger needs. The chapter you love might be the one a reader skims. You can’t see those problems from inside your own life, and a developmental editor exists to see them.
But a developmental edit is a structural edit, and plenty of finished manuscripts don’t need one. Some need a good line edit and a proofread. A few need a lot more work than any edit can do. Paying $1,300 before you know which of those you have is guessing with your money. The difference between an editor and the other kinds of help is in book doctor versus ghostwriter.
How do you get honest feedback on a memoir before paying an editor?
Get a couple of readers, and make them unbiased ones. Not your spouse, not your best friend, not your writing group buddies who’ll see you on Thursday. People who know you will protect your feelings. You want somebody who’ll tell you the truth.
Even strangers won’t tell you your book is shit. People are polite. What they will tell you, if you let them, is that it could use a little work, and that’s the signal you’re listening for.
So the question has to be the right one. Don’t ask whether they liked it, because almost everybody says yes. Ask them: do I need a stronger edit? A reader can answer that without hurting you, and the answer tells you whether to spend the money.
If two or three readers say yes, or hesitate before saying no, book the developmental edit. If they come back with typos and a couple of slow spots, save the money for a copy editor and a good cover. My piece on beta readers covers how to find them.
Two or three unbiased readers and one direct question tell you whether to book a developmental edit.
Where do you find unbiased readers for a memoir?
Start with people who read memoirs and don’t owe you anything.
Other memoir writers are the best source, because they know what the form needs and they’ll want readers for their own books. Trade manuscripts with one or two of them. Your local library often hosts writing groups, and a member who has never met you outside the group is closer to unbiased than a friend. A book club member who reads a lot of memoir is worth asking, too.
Give each reader the same short brief. Tell them the book is finished and you’re deciding how much editing it needs. Ask them to mark where they got bored, where they got confused and where they wanted more. Then ask them straight out: do I need a stronger edit? Two or three readers are enough. If they agree, you have your answer, and if they disagree, that’s a sign the book needs a professional look.
Why would you pay for something a fellow writer will trade you for free?
What sells a self-published memoir?
Mostly you do.
What has sold my own books is direct contact with people: live sessions, reaching out one to one and talking about the book, and selling from a table at live events. None of it produced huge numbers, and all of it beat posting “buy my book” into the void. One of the writers in that memoir group plans to sell her first hundred or two hundred copies at live events, and that’s a sound plan for a memoir. People buy a memoir from the person who lived it.
Be realistic about sales. A memoir from a writer nobody has heard of is a slow seller, and most of the reward is having the book exist. If that’s enough for you, self-publishing is the right road. If you need it to pay your bills, read why most authors fail at book promotion before you spend anything.
The house is yours
Query if a big imprint would change your life and you can wait years to find out. Otherwise, self-publish, and treat it like building your own house. Hire carefully and check the work. Get an unbiased inspection before you pay for repairs you might not need.
The Memoir Hub has the rest of my articles on writing and publishing a life story. If you want somebody beside you while you figure out the editing and publishing decisions, my book coaching service starts with a conversation.
Your name goes on the deed. Make sure the house is built right.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Scams Bait Self-Published Authors, Poets & Writers
- FTC Approves Final Order Against Publishing.com, Settling Allegations It Misled Consumers, Federal Trade Commission
