Under Pressure

Killer Cuts and Dead Letters

A salon owner, a mail carrier, and a problem that needs solving

Content warningViolence beginning in chapter two, shown directly and not glossed over.

This was the variable she had not weighted correctly.

Jackie, from the novel

Seventeen years on Henderson Avenue. Jackie knows what her clients say, what they mean, what they are not saying, and what they have been doing at home to their hair that they will pretend they have not. She is precise, professional, and invisible in the way service workers are invisible.

Keisha carries the mail on the same blocks and knows the other half: who is home when, whose bills are stacking up, which houses have gone quiet. Raymond Burrell works the case from the outside and keeps arriving at the right questions in the wrong order.

The opening

Mrs. Carver

Mrs. Carver came in at two with the Pinterest photo ready before she’d even sat down.

Same photo as the last three times: an Instagram influencer with warm blonde waves, layered and dimensional. The kind of color that required significant work and patience to build on hair that had been box-dyed for fifteen years. Jackie looked at the photo. She looked at Mrs. Carver’s hair. She made her assessment.

She did not say what the photo would require. Mrs. Carver knew what it would require. She came back every eight weeks anyway, which was the implicit agreement between them and had been for six years.

“I told David I was going to the salon,” Mrs. Carver said, settling into the chair with the ease of someone who had been coming to the same chair for six years and had made peace with every aspect of it. “He said, again?”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him maintenance was ongoing.” She looked at herself in the mirror with the mild dissatisfaction she always had, the gap between the Pinterest photo and the face in front of her. “He doesn’t understand maintenance.”

“Most people don’t,” Jackie said.

“He thinks I should go shorter. He’s been saying it for three years.”

“What do you think?”

“I think I’ve been working on something for six years and I’m not going shorter until it’s done.” She looked at the photo on her phone, then at the mirror. “Are we close?”

“We’re getting there,” Jackie said, which was true. The box dye damage had been significant when she first came in. They had been working on protein treatments and corrective toners and the slow rebuild of damaged hair. They were getting there.

She began sectioning. The salon was quiet in the way it got quiet on Saturday afternoons, the morning rush finished, the evening not yet started. Priya had left at noon. Jackie had three more appointments, and Mrs. Carver was the first.

The lavender diffuser ran. Through the front window Henderson Avenue was doing its Saturday thing: a car going past with music, the Dominican restaurant smelling like sofrito, a man walking a large calm dog that had the dignity of a dog who knew it was large.

“My son’s tournament,” Mrs. Carver said. “Lakeland. Next Saturday.”

“Are you going?”

“I said I would.” She looked at herself. “David says I worry too much about the drive.”

“Is he right?”

“Probably. I always get there fine. I just” She paused. “I don’t love the highway. The stretch by Polk City.”

“That stretch is fine,” Jackie said.

“That’s what David says. He’s usually right about the highway. He has a good sense of what’s actually difficult versus what feels difficult.”

Jackie worked the toner through the processed sections. The light in the salon in the afternoon had a quality, warm and specific, the light partly why she had chosen this salon. Some salons had bad light. You couldn’t see what you were building until the client got home.

She had good light. Seventeen years of good light.

“The HOA,” Mrs. Carver said. “Did I tell you? Gerald Hoffmann finally got what was coming to him.”

“How so?”

“He filed a complaint against my neighbor. About her deck. The deck that has been there for twelve years.” She shook her head. “The man filed complaints against everyone. Against the mail carrier. Can you imagine? Against the person who brings you your mail.”

“I heard he was difficult,” Jackie said.

“He was relentless. Past tense now. He had some kind of accident. His mailbox, apparently.” She shook her head. “Tragic. But also, the complaints section is three-quarters empty for the first time in six years.”

Jackie kept working. She noted it the way she noted most information that came through the chair: with attention, without reaction.

“How’s the new Publix?” she said.

Mrs. Carver lit up. She had opinions about the new Publix on Dale Mabry and she delivered them for the next fifteen minutes while Jackie worked through the final sections. The opinion was generally positive, with reservations about the parking lot layout and strong feelings about the bakery.

She tipped eleven percent. Always. Jackie had thought about that eleven percent many times without being able to determine whether it was ignorance or principle. Either way it was eleven.

“Same time in eight weeks?” Mrs. Carver said, at the door.

“Same time,” Jackie said.

She watched her go down Henderson Avenue. Mrs. Carver wore a blue jacket that was wrong for the weather but right for the color of her hair, which was coming right at last.

She would come back in eight weeks.

She would not.

Eight weeks later she would come in for the appointment she would not leave. But that was eight weeks away, and right now the afternoon light was doing its thing and the Dominican restaurant smelled like sofrito and Jackie’s back wasn’t hurting yet.

It was a good Saturday.

She did six appointments on that Saturday. Mrs. Carver was the first.

The other five: a trim for a woman who worked at the county assessor’s office and talked about the Henderson Avenue parking situation with the passion of someone who had decided this was their contribution to the world. A blowout for a regular who hadn’t said more than thirty words in four years of appointments.

A color correction for a new client who had box-dyed her hair copper and wanted to know if it was fixable, and it was, but it would take three sessions. A consultation for a woman who wanted something different and could not describe what different meant, which was fine. Jackie had been figuring out what different meant for seventeen years.

Who this is for

How this book came about

Richard Lowe, the Writing King

This started with a conversation I had with my postal worker years ago. Somewhere in it I got the idea of a postal worker who is also a serial killer, played for comedy, and it sat in a drawer for a long time.

Then I thought about combining her with a hairdresser, and the book showed up. Two women, one block, and between them they know everything about everybody on it.

The joke is that they are idiots. Not Keystone Cops idiots, they just do dumb things constantly, and that is exactly why nobody looks at them. Nobody believes anyone that dumb could be getting away with this much.

Questions people ask

What kind of book is Killer Cuts and Dead Letters?
A dark comedy crime novel. It is funny in the way competent people handling an impossible situation efficiently is funny, which is a different thing from jokes.
Who narrates it?
It alternates between Jackie, who owns the salon, and Keisha, who carries the mail, with Raymond Burrell’s chapters providing the investigative side.
How dark is it?
The inciting event happens in chapter two and is not glossed over. After that the tone is more procedural than gruesome, which is part of the joke.
Is the FBI agent the main character?
No. Burrell is working the case from outside, and the book stays with the two women who know exactly what happened.
Is it part of a series?
No. Standalone, and it resolves completely.

Also in Under Pressure

Present for everything, noticed by no one

Seventeen years of it, and every one of them useful.

BUY FROM INGRAMSPARKAMAZONKOBOREAD A CHAPTERTABLE OF CONTENTS

Paperback and ebook.

Filed underFiction

The Whiteboard

Killer Cuts and Dead Letters

He wrote WHY MALE in the lower left corner of the whiteboard, small, out of the sightline of the main work.

Then he stood back and looked at what was up there.

The office was a corner room on the fourth floor, facing east and south. The east window gave him the parking structure. The south window gave him the interchange and, on clear days, the bay.

He had not used the south window for views. He used it to track the light, when it moved off his whiteboard in the afternoon, it meant he had been standing there for too long.

Thirteen names. Chronological order of death. The order made a shape: four in year one, five in year two, four in the first six months of year three. Not accelerating. Not escalating. Consistent. Someone maintaining a pace.

He had been staring at the whiteboard for forty minutes, and what bothered him was not the pace.

What bothered him was the quality of the grief. He had interviewed people who knew these victims. He had interviewed neighbors and colleagues and family members. He had heard, across thirty-one interviews, a consistent texture: these were people who had harmed others without consequence, for years, through systems designed to protect them.

They had filed bad complaints and documented false performance issues and run parking brakes and skimmed tip pools and stolen deposits. They had done these things reliably, repeatedly, successfully.

And then they had died.

Someone was making decisions. Considered, patient decisions, about who deserved to die and when. Someone had decided, with apparent accuracy, that these specific people were causing specific harms that warranted a specific response.

Burrell had been in this job for twenty-two years. He had never thought about the word warranted in this context before. He was thinking about it now.

He capped the marker. He looked at the thirteen names.

Gerald Hoffmann, who had filed forty-seven complaints against postal workers in six years. Nolan Birch, who had been parking illegally in front of cluster boxes for eleven months with full knowledge. Curtis Ware, who had invoiced twice for compressors he never installed while sixteen families lived without air conditioning.

He thought about the air conditioning. He thought about sixty-eight years old and a box fan all night.

He uncapped the marker. He wrote: WHY MALE?

Small. Lower left corner. Out of the sightline of the main work. The behavioral profile said male. The behavioral evidence pointed to male. He had asked Quantico twice and they had defended the profile twice and he had accepted the defense twice.

He was not accepting it today.

The aggregate data described a population. The population was statistically more likely to be male. The person he was looking for was not a population.

He wrote, beside WHY MALE: OR FEMALE?

He put the cap back on the marker.

He thought about the salon owner on Henderson Avenue. Seventeen years. The fluency with which she had confirmed the substitution theory. The phrase she had used: if someone understood that, they could use it.

He thought about the mail carrier. Four years on the same section. Route knowledge so deep she had known Hoffmann’s schedule, his complaint patterns, his morning timing.

He thought about what those two things together looked like.

He drove to the diner on Kennedy. Turkey club. He wrote in his notebook: WHO HAS SEVENTEEN YEARS OF PROFESSIONAL KNOWLEDGE OF BIOLOGICAL MATERIAL?

Below that: FORENSICALLY EXPERIENCED, NOT JUST AWARE.

Below that, slowly: WHAT IF I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE PERSON AND THERE ARE TWO?

He looked at that last question.

He put the pen down. He ate his sandwich.

He drove back to the office. He stood in front of the whiteboard.

He wrote, in small letters below the thirteen names: ROUTE KNOWLEDGE + BIOLOGICAL MANAGEMENT = FULL OPERATIONAL PICTURE.

He drew a box around it.

Then Petrov knocked and came in with the quarterly report, and the moment closed.

He drove back to the office. He had not finished his turkey club. He had left the rest of it on the table with the notebook open to the page with the three questions.

He sat at his desk. He opened the Henderson Avenue file. He read the first interview with the salon owner, the one from six months ago, before the podcast had confirmed the substitution theory. She had been careful in that interview. Helpful. She had given him community texture and neighborhood history and had mentioned the Hoffmann complaint connection before he asked.

Table of contents

Killer Cuts and Dead Letters

  • Mrs. Carver
  • Eighty-Seven Dollars
  • The Red Indicator Light
  • Ongoing Violation
  • Four Pine Tree Air Fresheners
  • Everybody Makes Choices
  • JAX 12/6
  • The Whiteboard
  • People Who Work for a Living
  • The Books
  • Gerald
  • Victor
  • Different Useful
  • Eleven Complaints
  • The Route in July
  • The Math
  • Denise and Ray
  • Forty-Eight Hours
  • Phil and Rhonda
  • Dolores
  • Roy Beckett
  • Warren and Bev
  • He Wanted to Be Wrong
  • Made This Myself
  • The Key
  • Marcus Webb
  • Curtis and Craig
  • Unlikely Recurring Presence
  • The Walk-Through
  • Priya
  • Loretta
  • Burrell
  • Sandra in the Chair
  • The Publix Flowers
  • He Delivers Pizza
  • Henderson Avenue
  • Tuesday at Two
  • Dana
  • The Color Matching