Fail Where It’s Safe: Comfort Zones, Hyperfocus and Face Blindness | The Impossible Puzzles Show, Episode 198

This is the complete interview from Richard Lowe’s second regular appearance on The Impossible Puzzles Show with Mike Merkur, episode 198, recorded September 1, 2026, presented in full and lightly edited for readability.

Why does a new product have to fit a market?

Mike Merkur: Welcome back everyone to the Impossible Puzzles Show. It’s episode 198. We are still in the game and we’re saying hi once again to the lovely super author, Richard Lowe Junior. Mazeltov, amazing. How are we doing? What’s up? How’s life?

Richard Lowe: I’m doing phenomenal, thank you. How are you today?

Mike Merkur: Doing all right. Life is filled with challenges. I have a positive sense about yourself with all your lovely books behind you. I’m doing all right.

Richard Lowe: Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing all right. I’m doing fantastic. I didn’t wake up breathing dirt, so you know, that’s a good sign. Because if you wake up, if you wake up breathing dirt, it’s going to be a bad day.

Mike Merkur: Sometimes in life, we don’t know what the future holds. And sometimes we have to look the other way when we see things. And yeah, it’s so interesting. I’m just, it’s been, I guess, a few years up and down. A bit of a wild ride, but I’m starting to figure out what’s going on with my eccentric puzzles here? I’m learning that product market fit. The product has to fit.

Richard Lowe: No kidding.

Mike Merkur: Into a market. We can’t just, you know, this is not a fairy tale. If anyone goes around saying it’s easy, they do not know what creating a new type of product is. There’s so much. You know, a service, you could come show up, fix something, change something, talk, talk, talk. It’s a human action. The service industry, it’s a service provider. Oh, my car broke. Well, don’t worry, we’ll fix it. Oh, my business is falling apart. Okay, the coach will come and massage your ego. But when you have like a physical object or a computer system, you know, there’s a product. The product has to work.

The user isn’t going to read the manual. The buyer isn’t necessarily the user. The user isn’t necessarily the power user. I feel like, what’s the Japanese word for it, the old, Sudoku or whatever?

Richard Lowe: Hara-kiri.

Mike Merkur: Hara-kiri, yeah. You don’t wear a frown, yet you’ve written a million books. What’s your secret to success?

What keeps Richard Lowe positive?

Richard Lowe: Staying busy, looking at the positive side of things instead of the negative side of things, getting rid of toxic people from my life, getting on podcasts with crazy puzzle people, stuff like that. Just your normal average everyday stuff. Not drinking, not smoking, not taking drugs, having a healthy lifestyle.

Mike Merkur: There’s the joke of the young man who goes to the doctor and goes, doctor, doctor, can I live to be 100? And the doctor says, well, you know, well, what are we going to what’s your life plan? You’re 20 years old today. And the guy goes, I promise, I will not drink. I will not smoke. I will not stay out late. I will not chase after women. I will not do anything crazy. Please, do I have 80 more years on the clock? Will I live to be 100? And the doctor says, sure.

But what are you going to do with all the time if you’re not chasing, you’re not smoking and you’re not drinking?

Richard Lowe: Right.

Mike Merkur: So why would you want to?

Richard Lowe: Makes sense. You got to have a plan. You got to follow it.

Mike Merkur: You know, it’s crazy. After all this experimenting, I’m starting to learn the secret to success is actually failure. Just endless failing, endless criticism, endless refinement and good. What’s the saying? I was actually reading a Dr. Seuss book the other day and there’s a great line. It says, Always speak your mind and say how you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. And I was like, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. And I finally, it hit me.

I was like, all the critics and all the insults and all the, no one’s going to buy this or this doesn’t make sense. It’s all fun and games until you meet with the real mentors and the real experts because they don’t run away. When I put in front of the most confusing puzzles, designs, whatever, when I put them handwritten drawings in front of the best like computer teachers, the best experts, they’re always like, Merkur, what do we have here? And everyone else is like snickering like, Merkur brought his stupid crap again. No one, you’re not supposed to bring physical blocks.

And then the teachers, the experts, the wise men are like, they also, they say the exact same thing. No one, this is so fascinating. And people who are intelligent, they like a good brain twist.

Is failure the secret to success?

Richard Lowe: Yep, I would disagree with you about failure.

Mike Merkur: Teach me.

Richard Lowe: Well, what you want to do is, first of all, not be afraid to fail and choose the areas where you can fail safely. So, you know, jumping off a cliff, you’re probably going to fail in a way that you don’t want to fail. Especially if it’s a very high cliff with very, very sharp rocks at the bottom. That would be a failure that you probably can avoid. But If you choose the areas in your life where it’s safe to fail, and define what safe means, and don’t be afraid to fail then. I was afraid for many, many years to get out on my own.

I wanted to. I wanted to become a freelancer. I was tired of working for corporate many years before I left corporate. And then finally when I did, it was like, oh, a breath of freedom. I feel good. I had, now admittedly, I had some money saved up. So it wasn’t like a sudden, well, how do I survive until tomorrow? Because one of the very first rules of life, I think, that’s very, very important for all young people to know and anybody to know, is make sure your finances are enough to carry you through. Always. Six months. Have six months in the bank, liquid assets.

That way you can survive a year if you can. That’s number one. Only at that point is play money and stuff valid. But once you have that, you’ve got a good solid foundation. What is failure? I mean, then you have to decide, well, where can I fail? You know, I’m not going to fail by yelling at the cops. That’s just dumb. I’m not going to drink and drive. That’s just dumb. So you got to separate the dumb failures from the failures that make sense.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, it’s fascinating. It’s so interesting how things do come together with enough endurance and enough learning as we go. And I remember it was like episode 25 or something. I’m like, oh, podcasting is brutal. You never know what someone’s going to say. Oh, I can’t do this anymore. And then I was looking at my calendar. I’m like, oh, I got to do another two tomorrow. I’m just, I’m done. And the same with designing new types of learning tools and the same with public speaking. There’s always like this voice in my head where it’s like, okay, I did a few steps, a little pushback, I’m done.

And I’ve learned that in the past when I did throw in the towel, there’s always that regret. Oh, I should have stuck it out longer. And then now, okay, I’m a little bit older, but now at 42, I’m like, that’s normal. Everyone who ever dares to do anything, they step. It’s that quote by Theodore Roosevelt, the man in the arena. You step into the arena and you know, there’s always the, it’s not the critic who counts. When I’m doing the trade show and I’m like, crap, okay, I have to like prepare two weeks in advance and like what needs to be brought there?

What are the marketing materials? How do we lay out the booth? What about when this, when the, when the, you know, when the competitor comes? Do we fight them? Do we befriend them? What about when the big fish comes and wants to ask so many questions? Do we give away the answers? Do we not? And I used to be so analysis paralysis and terrified. And then I learned that the only way to overcome these fears is just to go to be and do. And everyone’s afraid. I was learning just the other day, I didn’t even think about it.

Just the other day, I was realizing like every venture capitalist, every investor, whatever, they also have to fundraise. They have their own problems, bigger problems. They have to place losing bets. They have to. It’s their job. So that job carries even crazier. Never mind the crazy inventors, but the people and the pitching, the people who listen to the pitches that’s a nightmare. They hate themselves and can’t sleep tonight. I didn’t think about this ever, but now it’s hitting me more than ever. When you talk to someone who’s like been in corporate for 20 years and they’re like, oh, finally I’ve released myself.

I’m like, no one tied you to that chair. No one locked you in. They’re like, oh, the golden handcuffs. The real problem is we get comfortable.

Why do people stay comfortable in a bad situation?

Richard Lowe: We get comfortable with our lives. We get comfortable with our problems. We think we’re doing fine. Even when you’re in a terrible marriage and you’re in a terrible job and all that, you’re comfortable because otherwise you do something to get out of it. There’s a point at which you become so uncomfortable that you leave. And that’s where the failure comes in. Sometimes you need to stop being comfortable. When I left Trader Joe’s, I stopped being comfortable and became very uncomfortable because I didn’t have a paycheck coming. And that was very uncomfortable. How am I going to survive?

I mean, I’ve got some money for some time, but what do I do after that? What kind of career do I have? Quickly found out people weren’t hiring 55 year olds. There’s ageism all over the place. Couldn’t find a job to save my life. And then quickly spun around and did the freelancing thing, did several different things, started to learn that I don’t have to have a corporate hanging over me. In fact, it was freedom because I could decide to do what I wanted. And you have to get out of your comfort zone. Some people call it being in the box.

Get out of your box, get rid of the box and do something that makes you uncomfortable. And you might be very uncomfortable, start small. If you’re uncomfortable leaving the house, go to the library. It’s a very safe place. Sit there and watch people and read a book. People will leave you alone. And you can try that. If you’re uncomfortable with leaving your job, because you’ve got a family to support, you got all this and that and another thing to do, and you got all these excuses, well, then make sure you got a six months to a year in the bank.

And if you don’t because you’re deep in credit card debt, well, maybe you need to fix that first. But don’t put yourself into the danger zone. Put yourself to be uncomfortable, grossly uncomfortable with the situation and realize you’re uncomfortable and understand it. And then you’ll start to realize, I don’t need to do this anymore. But the first thing you need to do before you do anything is if there’s toxic people in your life, they need to go.

Mike Merkur: They need to go. It’s so true. There’s a financial layer of over expenditure. There is an emotional layer of, yeah, there’s always some toxic person poisoning the well. The other thing I’ve been learning in my life is when I decided a couple years ago, I’m just going to pump out thousands of videos and then I’ll do the podcast and I’m not giving, I don’t care what anyone says. The minute I like really broke out of the norms or whatever and was just like bought that clown suit for $4 and all that craziness. It started to affect other people.

Other people are like, whoa, you kind of you crossed the Rubicon. There’s no going back now. Clown clown boy. And what’s there to go back to? All in, baby, or like I’ve committed, I have, burned the ships or whatever. And then other people look on and they’re like, if Merkur can do it and he’s a crazy nutball, maybe I should call him and tell him all about my dreams. And I’m like, Yeah, some people look up to me, they’re like, if he can go, if he can do 1000 crazy videos, I could do 10 crazy videos. And you had this too.

When people ask you how many books you’ve written or ghostwritten, they’re like, well, if he can write that many.

Why does writing 113+ books seem unreal to people?

Richard Lowe: Well, the thing against that is that’s so many books that I’ve written so quickly that people don’t think it’s real to them. I mean, they know it’s real, they know I’ve done it, but they don’t think that it’s real for them. So they just dismiss it. 113+ of my own and 54+ of other people’s books. Who does that? Well, there’s actually a lot of authors that do that. Why? Because they’re focused on it. But, you know, one of the things I look back on in my family, speaking of focus and work and stuff, is my family was reasonably good.

I mean, I wrote a book on it. It was pretty toxic, but it was a family up until the parents decided to make a business of their own. And then they dropped the family. There was no family anymore. And that scarred me and my sister a lot because we didn’t have a family anymore. We had two people who were working and wanted to put us to work. And there was no more fun Christmases. There was no more family get-togethers. There was nothing except what can we do to make the business work?

Now, I understand trying to make a business work, but at some point you have to put your priorities in place. And if you’re putting everything towards your business, on your deathbed, are you going to really look back and think, wow, I made a great business. I made a lot of money. Probably not. Unless you’re a billionaire like Warren Buffett, maybe.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, you’re so right. In life, no one really looks back and is like, oh, I should have.

Richard Lowe: Oh, I paid off all my bills. Yeah, that’s not going to be something that you put in your memoir.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, no, I was, it was, you know, it was fascinating. My wife’s like, we have to go away for three days, two nights to Niagara Falls. And I’m like, no, I can’t go. I have to do a million things. She’s like, no. You have to take a break. You have been sitting in the basement. You did like, in the last four months, you’re doing 200 podcasts and you filmed like 2000 videos and you got all these people coming over. This has to, you know, we have to have a break.

And, you know, a lot of people I’m around, they’re not married or they’re not married anymore or they don’t have any kids. And, you know, yes, they may, it may appear that there’s more free time, but It always helps to have a kosher sounding board, a wife, a girlfriend, a close friend. It always helps to have someone to bounce ideas off. And podcasting has been a phenomenal way to, people are less abusive when they critique you on a recording, because it’s going to be recorded in public.

Richard Lowe: Yes.

Mike Merkur: I’ve learned that when you do a trade show booth.

What is the greatest flaw of the internet?

Richard Lowe: Do you know what the greatest flaw of the internet is?

Mike Merkur: What’s that? What’s that?

Richard Lowe: It’s anonymous. At its very foundation, it was designed to be anonymous. And that is the greatest flaw because it allows people to be trolls. It allows people to do things that they wouldn’t normally do. You think, well, you know, anonymous is great. It’s not great. It’s not great at all. When you really, really think about it and go down to the bottom level, anonymity makes the internet more complex than it needs to be. Because there are places, like a shopping cart, where you don’t want anonymity, so you have to make it up.

And it means the criminals and trolls and cyber terrorism and things have a field day because they’re anonymous. And you know, my website is like all websites has been under attack a few times. And there’s no way to know who did it because it’s anonymous.

Mike Merkur: It’s so true. It’s so true. Like the YouTube comments and I mean, sometimes there’s also the crowd mentality when I was like teaching and other teachers are like, this is not the way to teach. And the administrators are like, this is not the way to be an administrator. And the parents are like, this is not the way things should be right. So like in real life, when you have a traditional job, traditional work. Then you get, you know, you have the bureaucracy, you have the comfort zone, whatever.

The first day, it’s like, okay, I have to drive 2 hours, be at the trade show for like 3 days consecutively, 10 hours a day or 14 hours a day on my feet. What a nightmare.

Richard Lowe: Those were grueling.

Mike Merkur: But then I look to the booth, you know, to the right, to the left. Everyone, there’s a tremendous camaraderie among the wrestling entrepreneurs or the early innovators, like the love and brotherhood. The guy’s like, here, you take a break for 10 minutes. I’ll do your pitch. And then he came in my booth and he started, he took my hat and was like dancing around. And I’m like, what? He’s like, you need a break. I heard your pitch 10 times. I’ve been watching you. I don’t have a booth this year. Let me do your pitch. And I’m like, what? He goes, trust me. It’s not hard.

And I was like, and then I learned that there’s tremendous respect for the creative entrepreneur. Tremendous honor goes to the one who’s like worn out and even like security guards were like, oh man, what the hell? You know, we saw you here at 7:00 in the morning. I’m like, This is the day, man. I need to collect those business cards. I need to fill out those, you know, get that list going of people. And there’s tremendous honor goes to the creative, crazy person who sticks out their neck. And I’ve never been so like beaten in my life.

I think there were like 50 people, one after the next. They’re like, I don’t understand what you’re selling. I don’t know. I don’t know what you’re buying. Why are you doing this? It’s fascinating.

Richard Lowe: It is. It’s a wonderful thing that the diversity of life that we have now at our fingertips because we have mobile phones and the internet and people can talk. And I mean, I could go practically anywhere in the world I want to. There’s places to go that would be stupid. I don’t think I’d want to go to the Red Sea right now or the Strait of Hormuz. That would probably be pretty dumb. But barring stupid stuff, I can pretty much go anywhere I want on the planet. Finances notwithstanding, I could probably do anything I want.

And it’s amazing how many people on TikTok are having first world problems. My cell phone battery ran out. It’s like, yeah, this is a crisis. My cell phone battery ran out? Great. That means I got 3 hours of peace while it recharges.

How do you get guests on a podcast?

Mike Merkur: It’s fascinating. And you know, as we’re chatting here, I always show, I always learn to show behind the scenes. I’m like, okay, I’m on like this computer and this computer and my basement’s a complete pigsty and my kids are going to come downstairs running any minute if they haven’t already. And you know, the show must go on in life. I’m in a place now where there’s so many ups and downs, but there’s a sense of self. There’s a sense of like bring it on. And so sometimes now I’m getting asked questions, even today, four times people are asking advice.

Even like seasoned media people are like, I never really did. It was so new with this podcasting. How do we get the guests and how do we interview the guests? I’m like, what? They’re like, you did it 200 times. How do you get? And I’m like, you have to reach out to 2000 people. Just ask. If you reach out to 2000 people, okay, don’t say, hi, I’m, you know, don’t be an idiot. Don’t bombard them, but say, you know, I told like, they’re like, what’s your secret wisdom? And Getting guests on a podcast. Okay, what do you mean secret? I copied what so-and-so told me.

It’s like, what did he tell you? I’m like, okay, so 3 steps. Step one is outreach, brief. Would you like to be a guest on the show? You know, very brief. If they reply with any interest or any reply at all, check mark. Step 2 is, OK, here are some past episodes. Here’s a one link, nothing too big, and here’s a booking link. That’s it. Step 3 is, you know, if you don’t hear from them in like a week or something, you could be like, oh, just wanted to follow up. Ready, happy to have you. And someone’s like, oh, you don’t bombard them?

You don’t call them? I’m like, no, you don’t call people. You don’t cold call people. And it’s not hard. You’ve done it. But you have to do it. And there’s so many people, I’m like, have you done it yet? Have you done it yet? And they’re like, you know I’m nervous. And I’m like, well, you’ll never break the ice until you do it. And yeah, I watched like, I was watching the other day, like episode 2, 3, 4, 5. And I was like, man, it was terrible. There was like a 2 1/2 hour episode that had no value.

Richard Lowe: Well, I found what I do is I reach out to somebody like today I wanted to have somebody on from LinkedIn. He’s an ex-police officer, retired and retired from special forces and things like that. And I’m like, I’m fascinated by that. So I sent him a LinkedIn message that said exactly that. Hey, I’m totally fascinated. You know, you were this and this and this. Love to have you on my show as a leader. Haven’t heard back yet, but I probably will because I said something honest about what I feel and people respect that and they see that.

And if he doesn’t call back shortly, I’ll say, what the heck’s going on, dude? No, I won’t do that. I’ll just repeat the message a little bit stronger. And I usually give it three times. And then after that, you’re just pestering the person. But I found on LinkedIn, People visit it about once every two weeks, sometimes monthly. They don’t visit it every day. I watch LinkedIn all the time because it’s on my other monitor. I respond immediately.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, you always have the LinkedIn monitor.

Why keep LinkedIn and Facebook off your phone?

Richard Lowe: But I don’t have it on my phone because it kills the phone battery. In fact, I’ve taken Facebook off because it kills the phone battery. And they take everything on your, I mean, they take control of your phone. They own your phone. So does LinkedIn. And I was like, I don’t want somebody owning my phone. And I’m about to remove all of the Word stuff, the Microsoft stuff from my phone, just have whatever comes out of the box. And because to me, that’s kind of sacred space. I’ve got my banking on there and all that kind of stuff like we all do.

And email and everything. And who wants, why would I give access to Facebook to all that stuff? It’s just, to me, that’s just dumb.

How much can you get done in a day when you fully commit?

Mike Merkur: You know, it’s so interesting. There’s always the, yeah, there’s always a feeling. It’s funny. I’ve had times in my life where I was like, single guy, nothing happening, university student. More time than I knew what to do with and I accomplished nothing. And then now as we’re talking I’m like 6 messages at a time, wife screaming, kid runs downstairs and it’s amazing how much we can do. That’s what I, that’s my mantra. I tell everyone, if you actually throw yourself off a cliff or commit to something and all the way, it’s phenomenal how much you can actually accomplish in one day.

And someone’s like, but what do I do? I don’t like, if you fill up your day with a schedule and you, know, you stack the wins and you do this for an hour, boom, this for half an hour, boom, this for an hour, boom. And then you can empower yourself and you don’t learn this in a regular nine to five job. You don’t learn this in school. You don’t learn this in university. You don’t learn this in college. You only learn it through grit. My wrist is in so much pain from writing out so many puzzle designs and then like loading them into a computer.

Or one time I like wrote code for like 6 hours straight and my wife’s like, your tongue’s waggling. And I’m like, I’m in the zone. I’m focusing. And the madness of throwing yourself into immersive work is a great feeling that flow or whatever we call it, the immersion. And I guess it’s better each day when I’ve fallen into a groove and I’m like, okay, I’ve committed to this, I’m gonna do it. OK, we’re getting 200 episodes. Now we’re going for 400. The first 10 episodes were as hard to do as the next 200. It’s amazing.

What is it like to be severely ADHD and introverted?

Richard Lowe: I know what you mean. Well, I’m severe ADHD and super introverted. I’m not shy, but I’m introverted. What’s hard for me is getting the ball rolling with people. I want to go. So getting to the party is the part that’s really, really hard for me. Once I’m there, I have fun and then my battery runs out after two hours and I’m, I got to go. That’s the introvert part.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, go on. I’m super introvert.

Richard Lowe: I want to go to these places, but I need to move my body. I’ll plan to go to the arboretum this weekend, and I won’t go. And because the hard part is me getting there. Now, I just got a new customer recently and she wants to meet at the library. So we’re meeting at the library. Now I have an excuse that I have to go. So I’m using that excuse, go a little early, take some pictures because it’s an art town. They’ve painted murals on all the walls. I’m going to take pictures, put them on my website. So I got another reason to go.

And then I told her, let’s go to one of the botanical gardens and have our interview there instead of the library. And so she said, cool, so I can take some pictures there and kind of double dip. And it works out pretty well, but it’s different personality types. I only found out I was ADHD a year ago. I’m 65 years old. And it wasn’t, it was not a surprise or a shock or disheartening. It was more like, oh, that explains everything. That explains it all. Yeah. Yeah. I didn’t know. And now I know.

And now it’s really easy because now I use ADHD as a superpower.

What are the superpowers of ADHD?

Mike Merkur: Let’s get into the ADHD as a superpower. And there’s people I know, dyslexic, ADHD, autistic, some with synesthesia or other unique learning challenges. And they’re the most successful, most productive people ever. People who’ve called me crazy have come up to me two years later and been like, I didn’t know. I didn’t understand. My brain does not work that way. Even a guy with like 50,000 LinkedIn followers in a huge company goes, oh, if only one day I could have a Mike Merkur brain. Yeah, it’s interesting.

Richard Lowe: The main superpower that I use is hyperfocus.

Mike Merkur: Yes.

Richard Lowe: I’ll hyperfocus and I’ll push out 10 blogs in a day, or I’ll do 6 podcasts in a single day, or I’ll do, you know, 20% of a book in a day because, and it’s ready to go. I mean, it just needs a proofread. It’s not like, you know, just random garbage. It’s ready. It’s a book. And I’m writing it. It’s not like saying, Claude, here, write this or ChatGPT write this. I write it. And it’s, that’s the hyperfocus.

That’s where I’m, and what the danger of hyperfocus is, I’m so focused that I forget to eat, which I’m diabetic and the, you know, the blood sugar drop flow. I’m like, oh, I better eat something. Now I have an interesting thing. I’m not married and I don’t have a girlfriend, but I have a cat. And every once in a while she comes over and says, you’ve been doing this too much. You need to pet me now. And it reminds me that I need to get off my butt and go do something else for a few minutes.

And then I come back and I just continue to hyperfocus. I have hyperfocus times where I’m up for 24 hours or 48 hours, just grinding, grinding, grinding, grinding. And then look, and then it’s done. And then like this weekend, my goal is to have all the LinkedIn posts that I’m going to have for the rest of the year, that’s four months, ready to go, scheduled and stuff. And I’m actually 20% through it now. And it’s not even the weekend yet. And they’re just, they’re written out their, you know, their posts and they’ve got the carousels on them and they’re getting engagement and stuff.

So now I won’t have to worry about it because I tend to forget. I’ll start, I’m real motivated. I’ll start, I’ll post every single day. Yeah, right. I won’t do that. That’s where the downside of ADHD is I get, oh, I’ll go look at that butterfly. I’ll go look at that jittery thing. And I’m off on another hyperfocus. So what I have to do is set it so that it’s automatic. Now it’s going to post for four months. And I don’t have to deal with it except to comment once in a while. And that’s easy because it dings me.

It reminds me, you know, LinkedIn goes ding and it has a little flag. And I’m doing the same on Substack and the same on my blog and what’s the other one? Facebook. Different subjects. But it’s all going to be automatic. And then in four months when I’m out, I’ll probably do the same hyperfocus again. So hyperfocus is a great tool. The thing that drives me crazy is the face blindness.

Mike Merkur: Yeah.

What is face blindness like with ADHD?

Richard Lowe: I walked into a restaurant the other day, standing there in line, somebody comes up to me. Beautiful lady. I mean, very pretty. She comes up, she gets, she says, Richard, and I turn and she gives me this huge hug. It’s a little too intimate for a stranger. I’m like, and I’m thinking, I have no idea who this person is, but she knows me. Turns out we used to, a few years ago, we used to walk around the apartment complex every single day for about an hour, just chatting, chit chat, chit chat, chit chat. But I don’t remember her face.

I don’t remember anything about that because of the face blindness. That’s ADHD. It’s what happens is if it’s not important, it tends to just go from memory. It’s gone. It has to be important somehow.

Mike Merkur: I’ve had people be like, I’m your sister-in-law or I’m your cousin. And I’m like, prove it.

Richard Lowe: I mean, I don’t get in touch with people a lot and that makes networking really, really hard because it’s not important in the moment. So it just doesn’t happen. And I have to make reminders and things and then I forget the reminders are there.

Mike Merkur: Just to say it back, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, has these what we could call superpowers or unique cognitive strengths. I remember I even had to call up a Google search on the computer next to me. But yes, hyperfocus is one. Then there’s extreme like divergent.

Richard Lowe: Yeah, I’m scattered all over the place.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, and then the third one is, what was it called? Oh yeah, crisis calm means, there could be like a chaos going on and I can like snap into like clarity. And high pressure focus, even like a mega dopamine rush.

Richard Lowe: Yeah, what happens to me with that is I’ll be perfectly calm in a crisis. If there’s a crisis, if there’s an earthquake, I can take over and be the leader and make it happen. Six weeks later, I’ll melt down.

Mike Merkur: I’ll cry over a butterfly six weeks later.

Richard Lowe: Or a year later even sometimes. I have a breakdown because a year ago, I had an emergency like that.

Mike Merkur: Amazing. So hyperfocus, divergent thinking, crisis calm, boundless energy, and heightened intuition. Those are the five biggies. And yeah, let’s talk about it. You were going to say boundless energy. Like you said, my one time I have someone’s like, you have to do this as a family. I’m like, no. I’m with my blocks. And for I think literally 12 hours straight one day and then I slept for like 4 hours and then another 12 hours straight. I literally just took like 50,000 blocks and connected them in like intricate puzzles. And then when I stopped, my wrist was like all these were not the nicest blocks.

My wrist, I couldn’t feel my wrist.

Richard Lowe: I totally understand. I totally understand.

Mike Merkur: But I didn’t know that my wrist was like broken until I woke up from the, I don’t know, the haze or whatever. And divergent thinking is just.

What is rejection sensitive dysphoria?

Richard Lowe: There’s also time blindness and face blindness. And then there’s one, RSD, where just a little teeny thing somebody does will tick you off and you never talk to them again?

Mike Merkur: Yes. That happens all the time. And someone’s like, I’m your best friend. We haven’t spoken for 10 years. And I’m like, oh, you said that thing to me once.

Richard Lowe: And I won’t even remember what it is. I just know that I’m mad at them.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, there’s yeah. It’s like you cut me out of your life. And I’m like, did I?

Richard Lowe: Must have had a good reason.

Mike Merkur: I have no idea what it was. But what do you call that one again?

Richard Lowe: It was RSD or something like that.

Mike Merkur: I have to remember that. Yes, there’s some, it’s actually been a, I always have a notebook next to me, but sometimes I’ve had to really just been like overwhelmed or from nothing. But yet if given an impossible problem, I can solve it instantly. So it’s weird, you know, life. Life in general and whether it’s a school or a computer project or a educational thing or a business all the different ADHD people I know and and others as well dyslexic autistic they’re so smart in weird ways. I showed someone a few things and then he sent me 10 different working prototypes within like an hour.

And he goes, oh, just a little bit of Claude in the afternoon. Nothing, too challenging. And I’m like, that’s like $10,000 worth of work. And he goes, money is for losers. And I’m like, no, I know a few people, like a 3D printing expert, my cousin, and he’ll spend like 15 hours straight 3D printing something. And I’m just like, When did he last sleep? He goes, sleep is for the wicked.

Richard Lowe: I know about when I hyperfocus, I’ll get up at 3:00 in the morning and I’ll go till 3:00 the next morning with a few naps in the day. Admittedly, I take a couple naps. Yeah, there were times at work when we had computer crashes and I was the one who had to fix it. And I would be up for 70 hours, literally with a few cat naps, just making sure that thing was back up.

Mike Merkur: Yeah, my whole life I’ve always kept weird hours. And I remember when I was younger, my mom would be like, are you up at 3:00 in the morning eating crackers again? What the heck? We’re going to take you to the cracker factory. I’m like, oh, there’s a cracker factory in the morning. She’s like, no, it’s not that kind of factory. You navigated, but you’re coming from a different era where there was no alternative learning strategies. You didn’t get any leniencies. I’ve had times in my life where they’re like, all right, he’s kind of off. Let’s give him some leniencies.

He can take the course for the third time. We’re not going to throw him.

How did an abusive childhood shape Richard Lowe?

Richard Lowe: No, mine was he’s driving us crazy. We’re going to give him Librium or he’s driving us crazy and we’re going to hit him with a 2 by 4. And I’m not kidding about that. I’m not even exaggerating.

Mike Merkur: That was how creative, the super creative people, the real productive people.

Richard Lowe: Because I had energy. I had too much energy for my parents. And I learned, one of the things I learned was to bury myself in my hobbies so that my dad would leave me alone and my mom. So I’d be focused on, really hyperfocused on building this model kit or painting this fantasy miniature or drawing something or writing. And they would leave me alone because I was quiet. So I wasn’t bothering them. So they encouraged those like reading, they encouraged it, partially because my mom liked reading and partially because I became quiet. The lack of quiet drove them up the wall.

And I thought, looking back, I think it’s highly amusing that they were the ones who bought me the noisemakers for Christmas. And then they were driven crazy by the noisemakers. It’s like, well, then don’t buy the noisemakers, you idiots. Looking back from my vantage point now. I mean, the first year you buy a kid a noisemaker on Christmas, he’s going to drive you crazy. You’d think after that you wouldn’t buy anymore.

Mike Merkur: We’ve all got our slaps and smacks when we were younger. I guess that’s going away more in this next generation as it’s become a taboo, if you will. But I actually very thankful when I look back at all the times my grandmother was just like.

Richard Lowe: Hey, the principal and teachers used to paddle me back then. There was no problem with them doing that. I’d walk in late and I got the paddle from the teacher. And it was a paddle with holes cut in it, so it could go faster. Wind resistance, you know. And the principal was ruthless, but fair. I knew who the boss was, believe me. When I was in school, I knew who the boss was. It’s like Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

When he finally, at first he’s like a wuss and he doesn’t know how to handle these kids and then he decides, okay, I can handle kids because, and he becomes this merciless person and he’s under control. That’s what was needed. I certainly don’t think we should be beating kids because I grew up in an abusive family and that’s just something that I don’t believe in anymore. But you do need to control them. You can’t let it go completely.

Why stop caring what other people think?

Mike Merkur: You’re very open about talking about the challenges. I’ve only now come to the acceptance of being open about autism and ADHD and personal learning challenges. I would never, you met me a year ago, I would never talk about it online or interview people about it. And you’re totally open about all the unique challenges you face in your life and you don’t care. You don’t care.

Richard Lowe: I learned a long time ago that one of the things that hurts you in life the most is caring what other people think about you. Now, taking that to an extreme, obviously I care about what my customers think about me. I care about when I was employed, I care about what my boss thinks about me. But we’re talking about like on social media with people on TikToks and they want to get likes. That is very destructive because now you’re warping your whole life to get those likes when they have no meaning at all. You got 10,000 likes today on your post, and that’s probably small.

But let’s say you got 100,000 likes on your post. I guess 100,000 likes earns you a few dollars. You know, I’m not sure how TikTok works. Besides that, which you probably spend on, you know, cigarettes or something stupid like that.

Mike Merkur: Who told you?

Richard Lowe: It’s just worthless. People liking you is not something you could spend.

Mike Merkur: I always keep telling people, be you, do your thing. I do me and you do you. Don’t try to be like me. You know, that’s taken. You be you, do your thing. There’s a lot of things I’m terrible at. You know, I’ve been told, I think 100 times in the last year alone, you’re a terrible salesman and you do not know how to start a business. You do not know how to run a business.

And anyone who works with you, the first thing they’re going to notice is they better keep you locked in a cubby hole and cut a rectangle in the wall to shove in pizza boxes and cut a small circle hole to throw in a two-liter Mountain Dew. And I was like, you’re right. And they’re like, that’s not a compliment. And I’m like, no, I accept I’m all over the place, a wild goose. And I like to be left in a cubby hole. I like to be left alone for many hours. And they’re like, Really?

And I’m like, it’s some kind of neurological condition more than a personal thing. But you like your own, you like having your own turf, your own space. You don’t want, you’re happy. You could be left alone hibernating like a bear for 10 years.

Richard Lowe: Oh, they can stick me in solitary confinement. I’d be happy as long as I had my stuff, you know. And I don’t need a lot of stuff. I mean, you know, give me a, give me a tablet and I’ll be fine. But what I want to add to that is, there’s no need to be rude or bad to other people. I see these people who get these videos on YouTube of people who get stopped by the cops and they’re rude to the cops and to the point where they get arrested. I’m like, why did you do that?

These cops are doing a job that I wouldn’t do. You couldn’t pay me to be a cop. I wouldn’t do that, but I respect them immensely because they’re doing a job that’s absolutely necessary. Why would I be rude to them? Same with a janitor. Why would I be rude to a janitor? He’s doing a job. Why would I be rude to anybody unless they deserve it?

Why judge people only by how they treat others?

Mike Merkur: It’s only by overcoming my own personal challenges and inadequacies that I’ve learned respect and patience for others. I was talking to someone for an episode, a transgender woman who was 58 years old and she was asking all these questions. I’m like, no, come on the podcast. You come on right now. And she’s like, but I, I’m transgender and, no one wants to interview me. And I’m like, I want to interview you. And it’s like, what? And I’m like, I have no challenges. You’re coming on right now. Anyone says anything else. And she’s like, but if I post on LinkedIn and link, it’ll link to you.

And I’m like, good. I don’t care what anyone says. You’re coming on. You’re a great marketer. No one’s going to mess with you.

Richard Lowe: Let me give you my feeling on that. And I’m going to use a little French here. A person’s transgender? I don’t give a damn. I don’t care. Yeah, I don’t care. Why would I care what you do in your bedroom? Why on earth would I care what transgender, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual person does in their own private space? It doesn’t matter to me. You’re just another person who’s got some characteristics that are different than mine, and I’m happy to discuss them. And interact with that person, because I think other cultures, I mean, like I’m Christian, you’re Jewish, and we talk all the time about this stuff.

We can even disagree. I don’t care. Let’s disagree like crazy, you know?

Mike Merkur: Yes.

Richard Lowe: And why not?

Mike Merkur: We shouldn’t be afraid. We shouldn’t be afraid to disagree, to chat.

Richard Lowe: If you were a Martian, I might have a problem. I’m kidding.

Mike Merkur: You know what? Everyone who’s had different personal challenges, struggles, be it mental health, learning challenges, neurological differences, business challenges, life challenges. They’ll carry like a purple heart, if you will. They all carry like a badge of honor. I’m starting to get like, I don’t know, like a sixth sense, if you will. Whenever someone shows me a new product or a new project or some new patent or some new thing, I always pause and I’m like, very good idea, but is this person crazy enough to run the marathon? And then I talk to them.

And then if you hear something like, their parents were divorced or they have this challenge in life or this happened to them or they came out of the closet, if you will. And I’m like, well, that will be your victory, because this is a lot harder than that. And they’re like, harder than overcoming this? And I’m like, yes. I’ve already talked to Richard Lowe Junior, who’s written 113+ books. He’ll tell you that one needs to overcome smaller challenges in life early on before they can take on big challenges.

Richard Lowe: I mean, I grew up in an abusive family, with a father with anger management issues, big ones, got hit by a 2 by 4 occasionally. And I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean that literally. Sometimes a chain wrapped around his fist, stuff like that. It got bad and it got bad enough where I had to leave. And the only reason I didn’t when I was younger is because my sister was still there and I had to protect her from my dad. So I stayed until I was 19 because of her. The only prejudice I have in my life is people who are jerks.

You’re a jerk. I’m prejudiced against you. I don’t care what color you are. I don’t care what race you are. I don’t care what religion you are. I don’t care anything like that. If you’re a jerk or you’re hostile as a general person or you’re toxic, these are things that I will distance myself from you. But other than that, why would I care? Why would I care that you’re Jewish? I mean, other than curiosity about what that means.

Mike Merkur: I’m still figuring out what it means. When I figure out, I can explain it to you.

Richard Lowe: A person’s homosexual, what do I care? I care about the person. This person’s homosexual. Great. What is it? What characteristics? Why? What’s important about it? What makes you different than me? Why we could have this conversation and it’d be a good conversation. I’ll tell you a story. I like this one. I used to go to the Renaissance Fair a lot. Like every weekend, I was at the Renaissance Fair for the whole weekend. They’d have three-day weekends and I was there for three days and I was photographing it. I was a photographer. I became the photographer for the fair. I was always there.

They always liked me. Everybody was posing. And I started photographing some of the belly dancers and there was this one named Makasha. Gorgeous woman, red hair, flaming red hair, good dancer, all this kind of stuff. And we’re walking through, getting some gelato at the little stand, fake gelato probably. And I turned to her and I said, we’ve been walking at the fairs for a while and maybe we should raise it up a little bit and not necessarily boyfriend, girlfriend, but at least a little bit more than just walking buddies.

And she turns to me and she says, if you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, that’s totally okay with me, but I think we’ll have to ask my wife first. And I just, my mouth opened and I was like, what? And she said, you didn’t know? And she said, she turns to her wife and she says, what do you think about this? And I didn’t even realize her wife was the one who’s following us around.

Mike Merkur: Fascinating.

Richard Lowe: And I turned to the wife and I said, what do you think? Because I didn’t care. She’s gay, she’s lesbian. Who cares? Marriage is probably out of the picture at that point, but we certainly could have a friendship. And we did, we continued. And every time I got a chance, I took her pictures when she danced because, she’s a good dancer. And it just illustrates that if you reject people because of what something they can’t control, their color, their religion, then you’re limiting yourself.

Mike Merkur: It’s so true. It’s so true. Okay, this has been a beautiful episode. We’re out of time. I have to go get food before the Sabbath starts. To be continued. We will pause here, everyone, as there are impromptu responsibilities that fall upon me.

Richard Lowe: I’m going to cry if I’m getting cut off.

Mike Merkur: I’m crying. Tears. We’re going to continue with another episode at a later time and we’ll go deeper into the ADHD superpowers.

Richard Lowe: No, I’m crying.

Mike Merkur: We’ll purchase some fresh Kleenex for Richard Lowe Junior, and I’m calling you Richard the Third.

Richard Lowe: One thing I’m not, by the way, is a victim. So if I’m saying tears, that’s fake.

Mike Merkur: We will pause here.

Find Richard Lowe at thewritingking.com/.

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