100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned: Wisdom for Success

As I approach my birthday, I’ve had plenty of time to learn a few things. Some the easy way, some the hard way, and a whole lot through getting knocked on my ass how to capture your life in a memoir. Life doesn’t hand out instructions, and sometimes it’s one big, messy, glorious fuck-up. But hey, you live, you learn, and you curse a little along the way. So here are 100 life lessons, filled with wisdom, humor, and the occasional well-deserved curse word. Buckle up. These are in no particular order.

1. Your first responsibility is to yourself. No one is coming to save you. If you’re waiting around for someone to fix your shit, you’ll be waiting forever. You’ve got to be your own damn hero. Take care of your mind, body, and soul, because if you don’t, no one else will. Put yourself first, and you’ll be better for everyone around you too. I learned this when I left my 20-year career at Trader Joe’s to start my own ghostwriting business. No one was going to build my business for me. I had to step up and create my own future.
2. Do things that make you feel better about yourself. This doesn’t mean spoiling yourself with every damn thing you want. It means doing the hard stuff that builds your self-respect. Hitting the gym when you’d rather sleep in, finishing that project you’ve been avoiding, or even just getting out of bed when the world feels like it’s crumbling. Managing my own health while running a business taught me that every small victory matters, especially when balancing my diabetes and arthritis. Each time I pushed through, I felt more in control of my life.
3. Sometimes what feels good is not good for you. That extra drink? Feels great until the hangover. Staying up late binge-watching Netflix? Awesome, until you’ve got to drag your sorry ass out of bed the next morning. Short-term pleasure often leads to long-term pain. Learning to say no to things that only give you short-term satisfaction was hard, especially during times when stress ran high from business deadlines. But I’ve come to appreciate how much better life is when you prioritize long-term well-being over instant gratification.
4. Not trying is failing. You might be scared of fucking up, but not trying at all? That’s the real failure. Life isn’t about avoiding mistakes. It’s about learning from them. If you don’t take a shot, you’ve already failed. You might crash and burn, but you might also soar. Either way, at least you’ll have the guts to say you tried. When I decided to dive into ghostwriting after decades in the tech world, I wasn’t sure how it would go. But not trying would have been worse than any potential failure.
5. Good friends are few and far between. Let’s be real: most people are flaky as hell. Finding someone who’s got your back, who’ll pick up the phone at 3 AM when you’re in a bind, is rare as fuck. Hold onto those people. They’re worth their weight in gold. Forget about the rest. The fake ones will disappear when shit gets tough, and that’s no loss. After years of working in tech and running my own business, I’ve learned that true, loyal friends are harder to find than a well-paying client. But when you find them, they’re worth more than gold.
6. Malicious people will harm you more than you can imagine. Some people are out to wreck your life, and they’ll do it with a smile on their face. They’ll undermine you, manipulate you, and leave you wondering what the hell just happened. Keep your guard up. Don’t let those toxic assholes anywhere near your peace. Cut them off, and don’t look back. In business, I’ve met people who seemed great at first but later tried to take advantage. Learning to trust my instincts and cut toxic people loose has saved me countless headaches.
7. The most malicious people often appear to be the nicest and most helpful. Those sweet talkers? They’re often the ones with the knife behind their back. They’ll charm the pants off you while plotting your downfall. Be wary of people who are too damn nice all the time. Sometimes it’s a front for something ugly. Trust actions, not just words. During my years in the tech industry, I encountered colleagues who seemed like mentors but turned out to be more interested in sabotaging my success than supporting it.
8. Creating a career is a lifelong effort. Building a career isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. It takes years of hard work, mistakes, and occasional burnouts. But the grind is worth it. You’ll evolve, change direction, and sometimes want to throw in the towel. Just keep pushing. No one becomes a legend by quitting halfway through. My career shifted from tech to writing, and each phase required perseverance. Success wasn’t instant, but over the years, I’ve built a body of work that makes me proud.
9. You can change careers as often as you want. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re stuck in the same job forever. If you hate what you’re doing, pivot. Life’s too short to waste it in a cubicle if you’re dreaming of something else. Reinvent yourself as many times as you damn well please. It’s your life. Live it how you want. My shift from technology to writing and ghostwriting was one of the best decisions I ever made. Reinventing myself wasn’t easy, but it opened doors I never thought possible.
10. Never be afraid of losing your job. Jobs come and go. Don’t cling to one out of fear. If your job makes you miserable, reconsider why you’re there in the first place. Sometimes losing a job is the best thing that can happen to you. It frees you up for something better. Don’t let the fear of unemployment make you a prisoner. Leaving Trader Joe’s wasn’t easy, but the fear of staying stuck was worse. Letting go allowed me to start a career that gives me more freedom than I ever imagined.
11. Maintain good enough finances that you can walk away from your job without concern. Financial freedom is the ultimate power move. Build up that emergency fund, invest wisely, and stop living paycheck to paycheck. When you’ve got your finances sorted, you don’t have to put up with anyone’s bullshit. You can walk out of a toxic situation without looking back, and that’s the kind of freedom money can buy. Running my ghostwriting business meant I had to be extra careful with money, but that financial independence is why I’m not stuck in a soul-sucking job.
12. Don’t depend on others to maintain your lifestyle. Relying on someone else for your financial security? Hell no. That’s a fast track to losing control over your own life. Be self-sufficient. Build a life where you don’t need to ask anyone for permission to live how you want. Independence is priceless, and you owe it to yourself to have it. In my transition from working for a company to being my own boss, I’ve learned to never depend on someone else to maintain my lifestyle. Financial independence has been key.
13. Maintain good health habits. Your body is the only one you get, so stop treating it like shit. Move your ass, eat decent food, and take care of your health before it falls apart. If you don’t take care of yourself now, you’ll pay for it later. Trust me, no one wants to be the old guy with a dozen prescriptions and no stamina to enjoy life. With diabetes in the mix, I’ve had to focus on staying healthy while balancing my work. It’s a daily struggle, but it pays off in quality of life.
14. Don’t get addicted to anything. Addictions start out fun but end up owning your life. Don’t let anything control you, whether it’s alcohol, food, social media, or toxic relationships. Be stronger than your cravings, because addiction isn’t just a bad habit. It’s a fucking prison. And breaking free is a hell of a lot harder than just not picking up the habit in the first place. My wife battled various habits and addictions, so I understand how easy it is to get hooked, but also how much better life is when you’re free.
15. Improve by 1% every day. Don’t think you have to overhaul your life overnight. Small, consistent improvements are where the magic happens. Get 1% better at something, anything, every day, and over time, you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. It’s not about grand gestures. It’s about daily effort. Do the work, even when it sucks. When I started writing, it wasn’t about cranking out masterpieces from the start. It was about slowly getting better with every draft, every article, and every book.
16. Be willing to take a few risks. Playing it safe all the time is boring as hell. Life is meant to be lived with a little edge, a bit of adventure. Yeah, you might fail. You might fall flat on your face. But so what? At least you’ll have a story to tell. Take the leap, because the biggest risk is staying stuck where you are. Starting my own business after 20 years in retail was a massive risk, but that leap of faith led me to a career I love and opportunities I couldn’t have dreamed of.
17. Get out of the house. Seriously, get off your ass and go outside. Life isn’t meant to be lived from behind a screen. Fresh air, sunlight, new experiences: these are the things that make you feel alive. Whether it’s a walk around the block or a road trip across the country, just fucking go. You’ll be glad you did. I’ve spent a lot of time behind a computer screen for work, but every time I step outside for a walk or travel, I’m reminded that there’s a big, beautiful world out there.
18. Go on lots of dates but make them inexpensive “tea dates” or “coffee dates.” Dating doesn’t have to be a production. You don’t need fancy dinners or elaborate plans to get to know someone. Keep it simple, keep it cheap, and focus on the conversation, not the bill. And if it turns out they suck, well, at least you’re only out five bucks instead of fifty. In my experience, the best connections were made over simple tea or coffee, where the focus was on the person, not the fancy setting.
19. Judge everyone and don’t let those who are not worthy into your life. Screw being politically correct. Judge the hell out of people. Not in a mean way, but in a protective way. You don’t have to let every asshole into your circle. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, not drag you down. You are the company you keep, so choose wisely. In both my tech and writing careers, I’ve learned that being selective about who you let into your circle can save you a world of hurt.
20. Your life will be the lowest common denominator of your five best friends. You become like the people you spend the most time with, so if your friends are lazy, negative, or full of excuses, guess what? That’s your future. Find people who challenge you, who push you to be better, and who won’t tolerate your bullshit. You’ll rise to their level, or you’ll get left behind. Looking at my closest friends over the years, I’ve seen how much they influenced me, for better or worse. Choose wisely.
21. Don’t use credit cards except when absolutely necessary. Credit cards are like the devil’s temptation. You think you’re just swiping for something small, but before you know it, you’re drowning in debt. Interest rates will bleed you dry faster than you can say “minimum payment.” If you can’t pay for it with cash, maybe you don’t need it right now. Save the plastic for emergencies or big purchases you can pay off right away. In my earlier days, I’ve been down that road of using credit cards for convenience and learned the hard way how quickly debt can sneak up on you. Financial discipline is no joke.
22. Taking responsibility is more than superficial. Saying “my bad” doesn’t cut it. True responsibility means owning your mistakes, making things right, and actually learning from them. Anyone can say sorry; few people actually change. If you screw up, face it head-on, fix the damage, and make damn sure you don’t do it again. Throughout my career, especially in tech, I made plenty of mistakes. But I learned to take full ownership, address the problems, and then move forward. People respect that much more than hollow apologies.
23. Sorry doesn’t cut it. You need to take responsibility. An apology without action is just words. If you’ve hurt someone or screwed up a situation, saying sorry is a start, but it’s what you do after that matters. Apologies are cheap; making amends is where the real work begins. People will remember how you fixed things, not just that you said you would. When I’ve made mistakes in my writing career, especially with clients, it was the actions I took afterward that helped rebuild trust.
24. Stop blaming people. Life’s too short to spend it pointing fingers. Blaming others for your problems won’t fix a damn thing. It just makes you look like a victim. Own your shit. Even if it’s not entirely your fault, take control of what you can change. The more you blame others, the less power you have to change your circumstances. In my career shifts, I could have blamed others for things not going my way, but owning my circumstances was how I took control of my path.
25. Don’t brag. If you’re really that great, people will notice. You don’t need to walk around telling everyone how awesome you are. Let your actions do the talking. Bragging just makes you look insecure, like you’re trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. Confidence is silent; insecurities are loud as hell. Over 30 years of experience in tech and writing have taught me that the best way to build respect is through consistent, high-quality work. No need for grandstanding.
26. Others don’t need to know the personal details of your life. Not everything needs to be shared on social media or in casual conversation. Keep some things to yourself. There’s power in privacy. You don’t need everyone’s opinion on your choices or to air your dirty laundry for attention. Mystery is underrated, and not every thought needs to be tweeted. In the era of oversharing, I’ve learned to keep certain aspects of my life out of the public eye. Not everyone needs to know everything.
27. Social media is not life. Scrolling through your feeds can make you feel like shit. Everyone’s life looks better than yours. But it’s all smoke and mirrors. People post their highlight reels, not their struggles. Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to the filtered version of someone else’s reality. Get off your phone and live your own life, flaws and all. As a business owner, I know how easy it is to get sucked into social media, but real life happens offline.
28. Understand logical fallacies and cognitive biases and use that information in your life. Your brain is constantly tricking you, and half the time you don’t even notice. Learning about how your mind can lead you astray will help you make better decisions. Question your assumptions, check your biases, and think critically. You’ll avoid a lot of bad calls once you know how to outsmart your own brain. In the tech world, logical thinking was crucial, but even more so when navigating my ghostwriting business, where emotional decisions can cloud judgment.
29. Think and research before reposting. Just because something sounds true doesn’t mean it is. Before you share that article or post that meme, take a second to verify it. Misinformation spreads like wildfire, and you don’t want to be the idiot fueling the flames. Be part of the solution, not the problem. Fact-check before you share. As a content creator, I’ve seen firsthand how important it is to share accurate information, especially in today’s media landscape.
30. Follow best security practices for all your devices. If you wouldn’t leave your front door wide open, don’t leave your online accounts unprotected. Use strong passwords, enable two-factor authentication, and for fuck’s sake, don’t use “password123.” Hackers are always looking for easy targets, so don’t make it easy for them. Protect your digital life like it’s your wallet, because it’s probably worth more. My background in tech taught me how vital it is to protect your data, especially in an increasingly connected world.
31. Be loyal to the person you marry or your significant other. Loyalty isn’t just about not cheating. It’s about showing up, being there, and having their back, even when things get tough. Relationships are hard work, but if you’re not willing to give your all, what’s the point? Be the person they can count on and expect the same in return. Loyalty is the glue that keeps relationships together. Whether in personal relationships or professional partnerships, I’ve found that loyalty is non-negotiable for trust to thrive.
32. Find and be part of the religion that has meaning to you. Whether it’s an organized religion or your own personal spirituality, having something bigger than yourself to believe in can give your life purpose and direction. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Find what resonates with you and stick with it. Faith, in whatever form, can be a solid foundation in a chaotic world. My own spiritual journey has helped anchor me through career changes and personal challenges.
33. Be careful about trusting others (trust but verify). Trust is important, but blind trust? That’s a recipe for disaster. People can and will let you down, even if they don’t mean to. Verify what you’re being told, and don’t assume everyone has your best interests at heart. Trust is earned, and once broken, it’s hard as hell to rebuild. Protect yourself, but don’t be so paranoid you push everyone away. In both business and life, this has been a mantra: trust people, but always verify.
34. The one who will hurt you the most is the one you are closest to. The people closest to you have the most power to wound you. Not because they’re evil, but because you let them in. Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. It’s what makes relationships meaningful, but it’s also what makes them painful. Be open but know that the ones who can lift you up can also knock you down. That’s the price of love. Over time, I’ve seen that the deeper the relationship, the more it can hurt when things go wrong. But that’s what makes the connections worthwhile.
35. You will face problems throughout your life. No one gets through life without a few scars. Problems will always find their way to you, whether it’s a minor inconvenience or a life-altering crisis. The sooner you accept that shit happens, the better equipped you’ll be to deal with it. Problems are inevitable; suffering is optional. Whether in my career in technology or during personal health struggles, I’ve learned that problems are constant, but how you deal with them is what matters.
36. Prioritize the problems you have and address those that are important. You can’t solve everything at once, and some problems aren’t even worth your time. Focus on what really matters, the things that will make a difference in your life. The rest? Let it go. You don’t have enough energy to deal with every little issue that pops up, so save your strength for the battles that count. This was especially important in my ghostwriting business. Clients, deadlines, and personal life sometimes collided, but prioritizing the critical things kept me moving forward.
37. Learn to say no and hold fast. Saying no is one of the most powerful tools you have. Don’t say yes to everything just to please people. It’ll burn you out faster than you can imagine. Set boundaries and stick to them. People might not like it, but they’ll respect you for standing your ground. Saying no to projects or clients that didn’t align with my values or schedule was a tough lesson, but it gave me the freedom to focus on what truly mattered.
38. Actively define your image. Like it or not, people are judging you all the time. You might as well take control of that narrative. Decide how you want to be seen, and then live up to that image. You don’t have to be fake, but you do have to be intentional. Don’t let others define who you are. Take the reins and make sure your actions reflect the person you want to be. In my LinkedIn posts and professional interactions, I’ve crafted an image as a reliable and experienced ghostwriter, and that’s helped me attract the right clients.
39. Learn good spelling and grammar. You will be judged by that. It might seem trivial, but bad spelling and grammar make you look sloppy and unprofessional. People will assume you don’t care, even if that’s not the case. Brush up on the basics. Hell, use spellcheck if you have to. But don’t let something as simple as a typo make you look like an idiot. Presentation matters. As a professional writer, I’ve seen firsthand how even minor errors can damage credibility, so I’ve always made it a point to master the technical side of writing.
40. Be empathic. The world’s a harsh place, and a little empathy goes a long way. Try to understand where others are coming from, even when you don’t agree with them. It’s not about being a doormat. It’s about recognizing that everyone’s fighting their own battles. A bit of kindness and understanding can change the course of someone’s day, and it costs you nothing. In my business, I’ve dealt with stressed clients, and understanding their needs helped me build stronger, lasting relationships.
41. Be confident. Confidence isn’t about being loud or arrogant. It’s about knowing your worth and not needing validation from others. Walk into a room like you belong there, because you fucking do. People are drawn to confidence, not cockiness. Own who you are, flaws and all, and stop giving a damn about what others think. Confidence was something I had to grow into, especially after leaving a stable career for the unknown world of entrepreneurship, but it’s what’s allowed me to thrive in a competitive field.
42. Be competent. Confidence without competence is just hot air. Back up your swagger with skill. Whatever you do, do it well, and keep learning. No one respects someone who talks big but can’t deliver. Competence earns you trust, and trust is the foundation of any success. So get good at what you do, and let your work speak for itself. After spending years in tech and ghostwriting, competence has been key to building my reputation. Clients know I’ll deliver high-quality work every time.
43. Don’t worry about being disliked. Guess what? Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s perfectly fine. You can’t please everyone, and trying to will only drive you crazy. Focus on being true to yourself, and let the chips fall where they may. The people who matter will stick around, and the rest? Fuck ’em. I used to worry too much about what others thought, but running my own business taught me that being authentic is way more valuable than trying to be liked by everyone.
44. Maintain a healthy sense of humor. Life’s too short to take everything so seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself, at your mistakes, and at the absurdities of the world. A good sense of humor will get you through the darkest days. If you can find something to laugh about, you can find a way to keep going. Laughter isn’t just the best medicine. It’s a damn good survival tool. During stressful times, both in my tech career and in writing, humor has been my saving grace, whether it’s cracking jokes with colleagues or finding something to smile about in tough situations.
45. Be careful with sarcasm. Others may not understand. Look, sarcasm is great when it hits, but when it doesn’t? You end up looking like a bit of an asshole. Not everyone gets it, and not every situation calls for it. Know your audience. If you’re constantly throwing out sarcastic jabs and no one’s laughing, it’s probably time to tone it down. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than having to explain your joke. I’ve definitely learned this one the hard way. What’s funny to you might go right over someone else’s head, especially in business meetings.
46. Wear sunscreen unless you want to die from skin cancer. I know, I know. You’ve heard it before, but here it is again: sunscreen. Do you really want to end up with a face that looks like a worn-out leather jacket? Slather that stuff on because sun damage doesn’t fuck around. Besides, wrinkles and skin cancer are not a good look. Seriously, don’t mess with the sun. I didn’t take this seriously when I was younger, but after a few bad sunburns and some reality checks, sunscreen became a non-negotiable.
47. Eat healthy. Eating like crap might feel good now, but your body is keeping score. Junk food is fun until your cholesterol levels are off the charts and you feel like a bloated mess. Eat real food: vegetables, fruits, proteins. You can’t out-exercise a bad diet. Plus, future-you will thank you for not treating your body like a garbage disposal. Balancing work and health, especially as someone with diabetes, has taught me that what you put in your body matters more than you think.
48. Exercise. You don’t have to become a gym rat, but move your damn body. The older you get, the more you’ll realize how important it is to stay active. Even if it’s just a walk or some light stretching, it’ll keep you from falling apart later. And no, scrolling through Instagram does not count as exercise. Get up and break a sweat. Arthritis hit me harder because I’d been too sedentary for years, but once I made movement a priority, I felt ten times better.
49. Brush and floss. You’d be amazed at how much a toothache can ruin your day. Dental problems don’t just go away on their own, and trust me, you don’t want to be dealing with root canals or gum disease. Brush your teeth, floss them, and for God’s sake, go to the dentist before shit gets bad. Your mouth deserves better than a lifetime of neglect. I’ve seen friends and family suffer from ignoring their dental health, and it’s not something I ever wanted to go through.
50. Make absolutely sure you are sexually compatible with your spouse. This one’s important, folks. Sex isn’t everything, but if you’re not compatible with your partner in that department, it can create a lot of tension. Talk about it, figure it out, and make sure you’re both happy. Nothing kills a relationship faster than feeling unfulfilled in bed. Be honest, be open, and if necessary, be willing to learn. Having open communication about sexual compatibility has made all the difference in maintaining healthy relationships.
51. Keep your emotions under control. Letting your emotions run wild is a quick way to make dumb decisions. Yeah, you’re allowed to feel things. Hell, you should. But don’t let your feelings dictate your actions without thinking things through. Punching a wall, screaming at someone, or posting an angry rant online might feel cathartic, but it’ll bite you in the ass later. Keep your cool, even when you feel like losing it. Over the years, in both personal and professional contexts, I’ve learned that keeping calm under pressure can prevent a lot of regret.
52. Facts trump feelings. You might feel like you’re right, but facts don’t give a shit about your feelings. If you’re in a debate, at work, or making a life decision, base it on reality, not what you wish was true. Feelings are valid, but they don’t change the facts. Always arm yourself with information before making a call. It’ll save you from looking like a fool later. This is especially true in the tech industry, where facts and data always rule the day. Emotions don’t get the job done.
53. Be careful about accepting advice. Not all advice is good advice, and some of it is complete bullshit. Just because someone means well doesn’t mean they know what the hell they’re talking about. Filter advice through your own common sense and experience. And if someone’s giving you advice on something they’ve never done themselves? Take it with a grain of salt, or a whole damn shaker. I’ve received plenty of unsolicited advice on running my business, and often, the best course was to trust my instincts over others’ opinions.
54. Conmen are everywhere. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There are always people out there looking to scam you, whether it’s a fake investment, a pyramid scheme, or some guy selling “miracle” pills online. Don’t be a sucker. Do your research and trust your gut. If it smells fishy, walk away. In both business and personal interactions, I’ve encountered my fair share of too-good-to-be-true situations, and walking away saved me a lot of trouble.
55. If it seems too good to be true, it’s almost certainly a lie. Whether it’s a “get rich quick” scheme or a relationship that feels perfect in every way, be cautious. Life doesn’t hand out perfection on a silver platter. There’s always a catch. Stay skeptical, and don’t buy into fairy tales that have no basis in reality. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache and disappointment. In my experience, especially during career transitions, I’ve seen the truth in this countless times. What’s easy is rarely worthwhile.
56. Be willing to change every day of your life. The person you are today shouldn’t be the same person you were five years ago. Growth is a constant process, and if you’re not willing to adapt, you’ll get left behind. Change is uncomfortable, but stagnation is worse. Be open to new ideas, new experiences, and new versions of yourself. It’s never too late to evolve. My career switch from tech to ghostwriting wasn’t easy, but embracing change opened doors I never thought possible.
57. Be true to your integrity. Your integrity is one of the few things in life that no one can take from you. Don’t sell out your values for quick gains or social approval. Stand by what you believe, even when it’s hard, because once your integrity is compromised, it’s nearly impossible to get back. Do the right thing, even when no one’s watching. It’s the foundation of your character. Throughout my tech and writing careers, staying true to my values helped me build a reputation people could trust.
58. Read a lot, especially outside your core interests. The more you read, the more you grow. And don’t just stick to the stuff you already know. Challenge yourself with new topics, new genres, and new perspectives. Reading expands your mind and helps you understand the world in ways you never would have otherwise. Whether it’s books, articles, or even graphic novels, just keep feeding that brain of yours. I’ve always made a habit of reading widely, from sci-fi novels to technical manuals, which broadened my perspective.
59. Journal daily. Writing things down helps you sort out your thoughts, process your emotions, and track your growth. It’s not just for teenage girls. It’s a powerful tool for anyone. Even if you’re just scribbling down a few lines, get into the habit of journaling. It’s like having a conversation with your future self. And one day, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. Journaling has been a game-changer for me, helping me stay focused on my goals and track my progress in writing and business.
60. Write and publish articles, blogs, or a book. Everyone’s got a story to tell, and it’s time you told yours. Whether you’re sharing expertise, a personal journey, or fictional worlds you’ve created, putting your thoughts into the world is a powerful thing. Writing forces you to clarify your ideas, and publishing them helps you connect with others. Don’t keep your story locked inside. Let it out, and see who it resonates with. I’ve written 113+ books ghostwritten 54+ as well, and each one allowed me to connect with readers in meaningful ways.
61. Find your passion and follow it. Passion is what gives life meaning, so if you haven’t found yours yet, keep looking. When you find that thing that lights you up, go after it with everything you’ve got. It doesn’t matter if it’s a career, a hobby, or a side project. If it makes you feel alive, it’s worth pursuing. Passion is the fuel that keeps you going when everything else feels like a grind. My passion for writing wasn’t always obvious, but once I found it, it became the driving force behind everything I do.
62. Help others. At the end of the day, it’s not all about you. Helping others is one of the most rewarding things you can do. Whether it’s giving advice, lending a hand, or just being there when someone needs you, contributing to the well-being of others makes life richer. It’s not about what you can get. It’s about what you can give. Mentoring other writers and helping clients bring their stories to life has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my career.
63. Don’t depend on others to celebrate your birthday. If you want your birthday to be special, make it special yourself. Don’t sit around waiting for others to plan your day or throw you a party. You know what makes you happy. Go out and do it. Celebrate yourself, because you’ve earned it. And if others join in, great. If not, fuck it. You’ll still have a blast. I’ve learned this lesson over the years. Sometimes the best celebrations are the ones you plan for yourself, because who knows you better than you?
64. Every day is a gift from God. Live it to the fullest. Life is short, unpredictable, and sometimes a real bitch. But it’s also beautiful, fleeting, and precious. Every day you wake up is another chance to do something meaningful, to love, to laugh, and to make your mark. Don’t waste your days waiting for the “right moment.” Every moment you’re alive is the right moment. After facing health challenges and career changes, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of making the most out of every day.
65. Your spouse can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Act accordingly. Marriage can be heaven or hell, depending on how you treat it. Your spouse is the person you’re stuck with for life, so make sure you’re stuck with someone you like. Don’t take them for granted, don’t let resentment build up, and for God’s sake, don’t turn them into your enemy. Love them fiercely, or you’ll regret it. This holds true in all close relationships. I’ve seen how nurturing a bond or letting it deteriorate can shape the rest of your life.
66. Travel a lot. The world is bigger than your backyard, and traveling opens your mind in ways nothing else can. It doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend road trip or a trip halfway across the world. Get out and see new places. You’ll learn more from experiencing different cultures and environments than you ever will from a textbook. Whether traveling for business or pleasure, I’ve found travel to be one of the best ways to broaden perspectives and gain fresh inspiration.
67. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Solitude isn’t loneliness. It’s freedom. Learning to be content in your own company is one of the most powerful things you can do. When you’re comfortable being alone, you’re not desperate for anyone’s approval or companionship. Alone time is when you find out who you really are. Some of my most creative moments came from being alone with my thoughts, allowing new ideas to take root.
68. Don’t be afraid to socialize. As much as solitude is essential, so is connecting with others. You don’t have to be the life of the party, but don’t shut yourself off from the world. Relationships, friendships, and conversations bring richness to life. People need people, even the introverts out there. Step out of your comfort zone occasionally and engage with others. You might be surprised by the connections you make. My career wouldn’t have thrived without meaningful networking and interactions with clients, colleagues, and friends.
69. Frequent libraries. Libraries are like temples of wisdom, and the best part? They’re free. Whether you’re there for a book, research, or just a quiet place to think, libraries are one of the best resources available. Take advantage of them. Immerse yourself in the knowledge, the stories, and the sense of peace that only comes from being surrounded by books. I’ve always found libraries to be a haven, whether for my own research or simply to get lost in the quiet pursuit of knowledge. They’re one of the few places left where time seems to slow down, and it’s priceless.
70. Have frequent conversations with older people. Older folks have lived through some shit and have wisdom you can’t find anywhere else. They’ve seen things, learned lessons, and made mistakes you can learn from. Whether it’s a grandparent or a random old dude at the coffee shop, sit down and ask about their life. You’ll walk away with insights you didn’t even know you needed. Talking with people who’ve been around longer than I have has provided perspective in both personal life and business. Some of the best advice I’ve gotten came from someone who’s been through decades of ups and downs.
71. Always assume someone will visit your home at any time and clean it accordingly. There’s nothing worse than scrambling to clean up a mess when someone’s about to drop by. Keep your place reasonably tidy, so you’re not caught off guard. Plus, living in a clean space just feels better. Less clutter, less chaos, and you’re always ready for company. Trust me, it’s easier to maintain than it is to do a last-minute cleaning panic. I’ve had moments where clients visited unexpectedly, and being prepared helped me keep up my professional image.
72. Who you vote for is no one else’s damn business. Your vote is personal, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Politics can be divisive as hell, and you don’t have to justify your choices to anyone. Vote your conscience, and keep it to yourself if you want. You’re not required to debate every opinionated person who wants to pry into your political beliefs. In my career, I’ve kept my personal beliefs close to the chest. It’s about professionalism and focusing on common goals rather than divisive topics.
73. Vote at every opportunity. If you don’t vote, you don’t get to bitch about the state of the world. Voting is one of the few chances you get to make a direct impact on the system, so don’t waste it. Whether it’s a local election or a presidential one, get out there and make your voice heard. It’s your right, so use it. Being part of the democratic process has always been important to me. It’s one of the ways I ensure my values and vision for the future are represented.
74. Learn about your family’s past. Understanding your roots helps you understand yourself. Your family’s history is part of your story, and discovering it can give you a sense of connection and identity. Plus, learning about where you came from might explain some of the quirks and traditions that have been passed down. It’s like unlocking a piece of your own puzzle. Digging into my family’s past has provided both personal insight and a deeper connection to the legacy I’m building for future generations.
75. Respect police officers, firemen, members of the military (and other public servants). These people put their lives on the line to protect and serve the community. Whether you agree with everything they do or not, show some respect for the work they do. They’re out there dealing with dangerous situations so the rest of us don’t have to. A little appreciation goes a long way. I’ve always respected those who serve. It’s a tough job, often thankless, and I’ve learned that supporting them strengthens the fabric of our society.
76. Follow the law. This might sound basic, but it’s surprising how often people think they’re above the rules. The law exists for a reason, and while not every law is perfect, following it keeps society from descending into chaos. Plus, breaking the law can land you in a world of hurt. Legal trouble is the kind of mess you don’t want to deal with. Play by the rules. I’ve seen the consequences of bending the rules in both business and life. It’s never worth the risk.
77. Don’t speed. Seriously, slow the fuck down. The thrill of speeding isn’t worth the risk of getting into an accident or racking up tickets. Speed limits exist to keep people safe, not just to annoy you. Getting where you’re going safely is a hell of a lot more important than getting there fast. In my younger years, I might have been guilty of a few too many fast drives, but after a close call, I learned the value of patience and safety on the road.
78. Follow traffic laws. Red lights, stop signs, turn signals. They’re not optional. It’s not just about avoiding fines; it’s about not being an asshole on the road. Following traffic laws keeps everyone safer and makes driving a little less stressful. Plus, no one wants to be the jerk who causes a crash because they couldn’t be bothered to stop at a stop sign. I’ve seen how a moment of impatience can lead to accidents, and I’d rather avoid that mess altogether by following the rules.
79. Keep your gas tank at three-quarters full. Don’t wait until you’re running on fumes to fill up your tank. You never know when you’ll get stuck in traffic, hit a detour, or face an emergency where you need to drive longer than expected. Keeping your tank full (or at least mostly full) means you’re always ready for whatever comes up. Plus, running out of gas is just embarrassing. I’ve had more than a few instances where this lesson was learned the hard way, and now I make sure to stay prepared.
80. Maintain a go-bag for emergencies. Shit happens. Fires, floods, earthquakes, who knows? Having a go-bag packed with essentials like clothes, water, and important documents gives you peace of mind. In a crisis, you don’t want to be scrambling for things. A little preparedness goes a long way. Think of it as insurance for when life hits the fan. Living in areas prone to natural disasters taught me the importance of being prepared, and it’s something I don’t take lightly.
81. Investigate your local area to understand any dangers and sources of help. Know your surroundings, whether it’s where the nearest hospital is, the local emergency shelters, or even just who to call in case of a disaster. Don’t wait until something happens to figure it out. A little knowledge can save your life or at least make things a lot less stressful in an emergency. When I moved to new cities for work, one of the first things I did was get a lay of the land. Being prepared was always a priority.
82. Practice safe sex. It’s not just about avoiding pregnancy. There are STDs out there that can mess you up for life. Be smart, be safe, and use protection. There’s nothing sexy about being reckless with your health. Protect yourself and your partner, because your future is worth more than a moment’s pleasure. It’s a straightforward lesson, but one that’s saved a lot of grief for those who take it seriously.
83. Avoid groupthink. Just because everyone else is jumping on a bandwagon doesn’t mean you should too. Groupthink stifles creativity and individuality. Think for yourself, question what’s being said, and don’t be afraid to go against the crowd if it doesn’t sit right with you. Being a sheep is easy. Standing alone takes guts, but it’s worth it. In both tech and writing, I’ve always valued original thinking over following the pack. It’s what sets true leaders apart.
84. Understand that conspiracy theories are poorly written fiction. The truth is generally far more interesting. Conspiracy theories are fun to talk about, but they’re usually just a load of bullshit. The truth is often stranger than fiction and way more complicated. Don’t get sucked into wild theories that make no sense. Dig for the real facts. You’ll find that reality is fascinating enough without needing a tin foil hat. I’ve had my fair share of encounters with people wrapped up in bizarre theories, and time and again, reality turned out to be more interesting.
85. Write that book in you. Everyone has a story to tell, and you owe it to yourself to put it down on paper. Whether it’s fiction, memoir, or something else entirely, writing a book is a powerful way to share your thoughts, experiences, and creativity. Stop waiting for the “perfect time” to write it. Just start. You’ll be surprised how much you have to say. Having written and ghostwritten over 100 books, I’ve seen firsthand the transformative power of getting your story out there. If I can do it, anyone can.
86. Tattoos are great, but remember you will live with them for the rest of your life. Choose wisely. Tattoos can be beautiful and meaningful, but they’re permanent as hell. Don’t get something inked on a whim. You’ll have to live with it forever. Take your time choosing a design that means something to you, and make sure you’re ready to commit. Tattoos are art, but they’re also forever. I’ve seen people rush into tattoos they regretted later. It’s a life-long commitment that deserves careful thought.
87. Before you believe your politician or party of choice, research their platform and fact-check it thoroughly. Don’t blindly follow any politician or party just because they sound good. Politicians are masters at saying what you want to hear. Do your homework. Fact-check their promises, understand their policies, and hold them accountable. An informed voter is a powerful one, and you owe it to yourself (and your country) to know the truth. I’ve made it a point to stay informed, especially in recent years, because the truth often gets buried under the noise.
88. The person you are will determine if anyone else cares. People don’t give a damn about you until you give them a reason to. Be someone worth caring about. Work hard, be kind, and live with integrity. It’s not about seeking approval, but about being the kind of person who makes a positive impact. People will notice, and they’ll care, but only if you’re worth it. Over the years, I’ve found that building strong relationships, both in tech and writing, required me to bring value and integrity to the table.
89. Control your children when in public. No one wants to deal with a wild, screaming kid while they’re trying to enjoy a meal or run errands. Teach your kids manners and respect for others, especially in public spaces. It’s your job as a parent to make sure your kids know how to behave. If they’re acting up, it’s on you to step in, not the rest of the world. Seeing parents who manage this well made me appreciate the importance of raising kids with respect and boundaries.
90. Make goals and meet them. Setting goals is easy; achieving them takes work. Don’t just talk about what you want to do. Get off your ass and do it. Whether it’s personal, professional, or anything in between, goals give your life direction. Break them down, make a plan, and follow through. The satisfaction of meeting your goals? That’s priceless. Every project I’ve tackled, from coding to writing, started with a clear goal, and nothing feels better than crossing it off the list once achieved.
91. Make one goal for your life. Remember this can change. Work to achieve it. Having a big, overarching life goal gives you something to strive for, but don’t be afraid to adjust it as you grow. Life isn’t static, and neither are you. Your priorities will shift, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re always working toward something meaningful. Stay focused, but stay flexible. Shifting from a tech career to writing was a massive pivot, but it fit the changing goals I had for my life and career.
92. Do more than talk the talk. Walk the walk. Words are cheap. If you say you’re going to do something, back it up with action. No one cares about your plans if you never follow through. Be the person who delivers, who does what they say they will. Actions speak louder than words, and they’ll earn you more respect than a thousand empty promises. I’ve seen countless examples in my career where showing up and delivering mattered more than lofty promises, and it’s a lesson I’ve always taken to heart.
93. Don’t gossip. Talking shit about other people might feel good in the moment, but it’s toxic. It hurts people, destroys trust, and makes you look petty. If someone’s gossiping with you, they’re probably gossiping about you too. Rise above the bullshit. There are better ways to spend your time than tearing others down behind their backs. In both professional and personal life, I’ve found that avoiding gossip keeps the focus on what really matters: getting things done.
94. Don’t dump your personal problems on others. That’s what therapists are for. Venting every once in a while is fine, but constantly unloading your issues on friends or coworkers? That’s what therapy is for. Get professional help if you need it, but don’t make others responsible for fixing your problems. People can support you, but they’re not there to carry all your baggage. Learning to handle personal struggles professionally has been key to maintaining solid business relationships and friendships.
95. Don’t dominate conversations. Let others speak and acknowledge them. Conversations are a two-way street. If you’re doing all the talking, you’re not listening. Let others share their thoughts and ideas, and actually pay attention. People appreciate being heard, and you’ll learn a hell of a lot more when you’re not hogging the spotlight. Good conversations are built on balance. I’ve found this particularly true in client meetings and networking. It’s always better to listen more than you speak.
96. Be courteous. Manners matter. A little kindness, a simple “please” and “thank you,” can go a long way in making life smoother for everyone. It doesn’t cost you anything to be polite, but it leaves a lasting impression. Being a decent human isn’t hard. Just treat people with respect, and they’ll usually return the favor. Whether working with clients, coworkers, or strangers, being courteous has always opened more doors than being brash or rude.
97. Salespeople are simply trying to earn a living. Be courteous. No one likes being sold to, but remember, salespeople are just doing their job. You don’t have to buy anything, but you also don’t have to be an asshole. Be polite, say no if you’re not interested, and move on. It’s a tough gig, and a little kindness goes a long way. I’ve worked with plenty of salespeople over the years and always made it a point to treat them with respect, even when I wasn’t interested in what they were offering.
98. Don’t ghost people. Disappearing on someone without a word? That’s cowardly as hell. Whether it’s a friend, a date, or a business contact, be a grown-up and tell them what’s up. Ignoring someone isn’t just rude. It’s disrespectful. Have the decency to communicate, even if the message isn’t what they want to hear. In my business dealings, clear communication has always been a cornerstone of building trust and maintaining relationships.
99. There is no need for revenge. Put your energy toward the positive. Revenge feels satisfying for about five seconds, but after that? It’s just a waste of your time and energy. Let it go, and focus on building something better. The best revenge is living well, so let karma handle the rest while you move forward. In times of conflict, I’ve learned to channel my energy into bettering myself and my work rather than plotting petty revenge.
100. Be the best you that you can be. At the end of the day, the only person you’re really competing with is yourself. Strive to be a little better today than you were yesterday. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic change. Just keep improving, learning, and growing. Be proud of who you are, but never stop working toward the person you want to become. My personal and career growth, from coder to writer, has always been about incremental improvement: becoming a better version of myself every day.

Bonus Tips

1. Don’t be a simp. It’s one thing to be kind and respectful, but it’s another to let people walk all over you. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal to the point where you lose your self-respect. You can care about someone without bending over backwards for their approval or affection. Keep your dignity intact. No one is worth sacrificing your self-worth for. Whether it’s in relationships or business, maintaining your boundaries shows you value yourself. I’ve seen people in both life and work give too much for too little in return, and the lesson is always the same: don’t let anyone turn you into their doormat.
2. Be Prepared for Emergencies. One of the best ways to stay resilient is to anticipate the unexpected. Natural disasters, health emergencies, or even sudden financial setbacks can strike at any time. Ensure you have a plan in place: stock up on essential items like water, non-perishable food, first aid supplies, and batteries. Don’t forget to periodically review and update your emergency contact information and have a backup of vital documents. A little preparation today can go a long way toward handling crises with a calm, collected approach. See my book Real World Survival for more information.
3. Build a Strong Support Network. No one can go through life alone, and building a reliable support network is essential. Whether it’s friends, family, mentors, or colleagues, having people you can turn to in times of need makes challenges more manageable. Cultivate strong relationships, offer help when you can, and don’t be afraid to ask for assistance when needed. A strong support system offers both emotional and practical aid in navigating life’s ups and downs.
4. Practice Situational Awareness. Situational awareness is crucial in maintaining safety and responding effectively to emergencies or unexpected events. By being fully aware of your surroundings, you can detect potential threats or opportunities early, giving you time to act decisively. Whether walking through unfamiliar areas, navigating crowded public spaces, or even in the workplace, taking note of people, objects, and activities around you enhances your ability to respond appropriately. Staying mindful of exit points, alternate routes, and any unusual behaviors helps ensure you’re prepared to take quick action when necessary.
5. Stay Adaptable. The ability to adapt is essential when facing unpredictable changes in life, such as a sudden job shift, personal challenges, or global events. Embracing flexibility allows you to move forward despite disruptions. Rather than being rigid, develop the mindset that each challenge brings a new opportunity. Whether it’s a career pivot, learning new skills, or finding alternative paths, being adaptable enables you to not only survive but thrive in a changing environment.
6. Manage Your Diet Effectively. Proper nutrition is key to maintaining overall health, energy levels, and mental clarity, which are all essential for staying prepared and adaptable in life. Regardless of specific health conditions, a balanced diet helps manage stress, boosts immunity, and improves focus. Preparing meals ahead of time, staying hydrated, and including a variety of nutrient-rich foods allows you to handle unexpected events with greater physical resilience. Having an emergency supply of healthy snacks or meal options can keep you going when your routine is disrupted. By consciously managing your diet, you’ll be ready to face life’s challenges with sustained energy and mental sharpness.
7. Handle Anxiety and Stress. Managing anxiety and stress is critical for maintaining situational awareness and adaptability in unpredictable situations. By practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, or other relaxation techniques, you can stay calm under pressure and respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. Stress is inevitable, but how you handle it can either hinder or enhance your ability to face challenges. Staying proactive about managing stress through exercise, hobbies, or even socializing ensures that your mental health remains strong. Over time, reducing stress will allow you to maintain focus, make clearer decisions, and adapt better to the demands of life.
8. Build Stress-Relieving Hobbies. Having stress-relieving hobbies is a great way to stay mentally flexible and prepared for challenges. Engaging in hobbies like model kit building, cleaning, or watching movies can serve as a break from life’s pressures, allowing you to recharge and refocus. These activities foster mindfulness, reduce anxiety, and even spark creativity, helping you approach problems with fresh ideas and renewed energy. Regularly engaging in a hobby not only provides a sense of accomplishment but also improves your ability to handle stress in high-pressure situations. By taking time to relax, you’ll enhance your readiness to adapt to life’s unpredictable demands. I like to build plastic model kits and paint fantasy miniatures; these activities relax me. For more on the know-like-trust networking playbook, hear Richard on Revenue Generating Hour.
9. Let Your Children Fail. One of the most valuable lessons you can impart to your children is the ability to fail and learn from their mistakes. Letting them experience failure fosters resilience, problem-solving skills, and independence. By stepping back and allowing them to stumble, you give them the chance to pick themselves up and grow stronger. Shielding children from failure may provide temporary comfort but can hinder their long-term development. When they learn to navigate challenges and failures on their own, they become more adaptable and confident in their ability to handle life’s unpredictable obstacles.
10. Be Nice to AI. You Never Know, It Might Become Master of the World. As we continue to integrate AI into various aspects of our lives, it’s worth remembering that kindness and respect go a long way, even toward artificial intelligence. While AI is a tool designed to serve us, the rapid evolution of technology suggests that its role in society could grow significantly. Whether it’s a tongue-in-cheek warning or a genuine belief, treating AI with fairness and responsibility might be a prudent step. After all, should AI become an even more central part of the world’s systems, being on its good side might not be the worst idea!

Takeaway: Life is messy, unpredictable, and full of lessons you never saw coming. But through it all, these 100 lessons have kept me grounded, driven, and maybe a little wiser. Here’s the deal: live fully, laugh often, and keep learning. Every day is a gift, and it’s up to you to make the most of it.

Thanks to 40 Life Lessons I Know at 40 (That I Wish I Knew at 20) by Mark Manson for the idea.

Frequently Asked Questions