7 Laughably Absurd Reasons Why Requesting a Free Ghostwriter Treads on Thin Ice

7 Laughably Absurd Reasons Why Requesting a Free Ghostwriter Treads on Thin Ice

Why Requesting a Free Ghostwriter Treads on Thin IceIn the circus of professions, the ghostwriter is akin to the tightrope walker. They balance creativity and client specifications, high above the arena of criticism, and perform a stunning act – all without a safety net of credit for their work. When you ask them to perform for peanuts, or worse, for free, it’s like asking the circus’s star attraction to juggle fire while blindfolded on that thin rope. Why not throw in a unicycle too? But let’s go on this merry-go-round and explore the reasons why requesting a free ghostwriter is more clownish caper than clever management.

Where can I find a ghostwriter pro bono?

Richard Lowe explains why you shouldn’t look for a pro bono ghostwriter

The Clown Car of Expectations: Ignoring the Value of Professional Expertise

Picture a ghostwriter as a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hatExcept, instead of a rabbit, it’s a beautifully written piece, and instead of a hat, it’s years of skill honed with blood, sweat, and the occasional coffee spill. When you ask a magician for a “free ghostwriter,” you’re basically handing them an empty top hat and expecting a unicorn. No, my friend, it’s not “Abracadabra,” but “Abra-ka-dollar” that makes the magic happen.

And yet, there are those who hand us an empty top hat, asking us to conjure a unicorn. In the realm of ghostwriting, it’s not ‘Abracadabra,’ but ‘Abra-ka-dollar’ that makes the magic happen.

There are those who take the expertise and professionalism of ghostwriters seriously. For example, take Richard Lowe, the ‘Writing King,’ who brings over 33 years of technical and leadership experience to his work. Richard is no stranger to the laborious process and the attention to detail that writing requires; he has authored 60 of his own books and has ghostwritten more than 48 others. Richard didn’t amass his knowledge and skills overnight – he took over a hundred online classes on a wide range of topics, refining his craft and staying up to date with the changing landscape of writing and publishing. His vast experience and continuous learning underline the professional expertise that ghostwriters bring to the table.

As Thomas Edison once said, ‘Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.’ Ghostwriters have perspired buckets to perfect their art, pouring over every word, phrase, and sentence to get it just right. They’ve put in the hours and brought their A-game every time, so they deserve an A-grade compensation, not an IOU that bounces like a rubber clown nose.”

And to add to the juggling act, ghostwriters also have to constantly update their skills and stay on top of the literary trends. It’s like keeping a dozen plates spinning while tap-dancing on a rolling log. So, the next time you want to ask for a “free ghostwriter,” remember this: a magic trick isn’t so magical when you realize it’s all hard work and no wand-waving.

The Great Pie-In-The-Face: Dismissing the Importance of Experience and Certifications

The Great Pie-In-The-Face Dismissing the Importance of Experience and CertificationsImagine that you’re at a circus, and there are two trapeze artists ready to perform. One has years of experience and a safety certificate, the other just watched a YouTube tutorial called “Swing and Pray.” Who would you trust to catch you in a death-defying act? It’s a no-brainer, right? Well, that’s what it feels like when you ask a professional ghostwriter with experience and certifications to work for free.

Albert Einstein famously said, “The only source of knowledge is experience.” And ghostwriters have it by the bucket load. They’ve written through the twilight, battled the blocks, faced the fearsome edits, and emerged victorious with a polished piece of prose. That experience is worth its weight in gold-plated circus tickets, not in funny money.

Just like a circus artist juggling on the high wire, a ghostwriter juggles many roles – communicator, word weaver, time manager, and more. When you ask for a free ghostwriter, it’s as if you’re asking them to toss another ball into the mix without compensation. The importance of paying ghostwriters extends beyond mere financials; it’s a measure of their worth, respect, and the value they bring to your business. Don’t devalue their experience; celebrate it and compensate it.

The Balancing Act: Neglecting Business Etiquette and Respect

Just as a circus is not all fun and games, a ghostwriting job is not just about weaving words into a story. Ghostwriters have to juggle the balls of communication, timeliness, responsiveness, and confidentiality with the grace of a trapeze artist. When you ask for a free ghostwriter, it’s like throwing a bowling ball into their delicate balancing act.

As Robert Frost quipped, “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” A professional ghostwriter understands the value of their client’s happiness and strives to maintain a positive, respectful relationship. They understand that their work isn’t just a product; it’s a service. They’re not just selling words; they’re selling trust, confidentiality, and timeliness. It’s a balancing act that deserves applause and fair compensation, not the silent treatment.

Furthermore, ghostwriters don’t just know how to write; they understand the intricacies of the business. They’re like tightrope walkers, balancing creativity and professionalism while meeting the specific needs of their clients. To ask them to risk a fall without the safety net of fair payment is a slapstick move, not a savvy business decision.

So, the next time you’re tempted to say, “I want a free ghostwriter,” remember even a clown knows when to take a bow and appreciate the skill and effort of their fellow performers.

Risks of a Free Ghostwriter

Taking on a free ghostwriter might seem like a tempting high-wire act, but it’s more like a precarious game of chance. The risks of a free ghostwriter often outweigh the benefits, with the potential for low-quality work, missed deadlines, and unsynchronized communication, tarnishing your brand’s reputation.

The Three-Ring Blunder: Overlooking Real-World Constraints

Imagine a circus where the trapeze artist also serves popcorn, the lion tamer moonlights as a ticket seller, and the clown steps in as the ringmaster. Absurd, right? But when you ask for a free ghostwriter, you’re assuming that your ghostwriter lives in such a fantastical world, where bills pay themselves, and food appears on the table as if by magic.

Benjamin Franklin wasn’t joking when he said, “Time is money.” Ghostwriters, like all mortals, live in a world ruled by the ticking clock. Each hour spent crafting your masterpiece is an hour they can’t use to work on another paying project. When you ask a ghostwriter to work for free, it’s like asking them to suspend time or to pay their rent in dreams and good vibes.

Plus, every “free” project a ghostwriter takes up has an opportunity cost. It’s a juggling act, where the cost of dropping a ball can be a missed opportunity. So, when you request a freebie, it’s not just about the actual writing. It’s also about the opportunities foregone, the value of their time, and the strain on their work-life balance. Remember, even the most talented juggler can’t keep more balls in the air than they can handle.

The Bearded Lady’s Beard: Ignoring the Value of Unique Skills

Let’s be honest; not everyone can be a Bearded Lady or a Sword Swallower. Just like not everyone can weave narratives, craft compelling characters, or enthrall readers with their words. Ghostwriters, like sideshow performers, have unique skills honed over years of practice and experience.

As the great Stephen King once said, “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” Ghostwriters have not just talent but a unique set of skills. They can adopt your voice, tell your story, and make it engaging for your audience. This is not something that comes with a “one-size-fits-all” tag. It’s tailored to your needs, and like any bespoke service, it deserves fair payment.

Think about it; when you ask a free ghostwriter to pen your tale, it’s like asking a tattoo artist to ink you for the thrill of it. The result is a unique piece of art that represents you, created by a skilled professional. It’s an exchange that deserves more than a pat on the back.

The High-Wire Act: Disregarding the Risk of Low Quality

Asking for a free ghostwriting service is like volunteering to be the assistant in a knife-throwing act while the performer practices. It’s fraught with risk. The saying, “You get what you pay for,” is never more accurate than when applied to writing services.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle famously wrote, “Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.” While a free ghostwriter might save you money upfront, the long-term costs of subpar writing – lost sales, damaged reputation, and the expense of rewrites – can far outweigh the initial savings.

So, remember, a high-wire act without a safety net might be thrilling to watch, but it’s not so fun when it’s your brand on the line. Don’t gamble with your content by asking for a “free ghostwriter.” After all, no one enjoys a circus act when the performers are out of sync.

The Misguided Ringmaster: Forgetting the Importance of Respect and Professional Courtesy

Lastly, and most importantly, asking a ghostwriter to work for free shows a lack of respect for their work. It’s like laughing at a clown’s antics while dismissing the skill, timing, and practice that goes into every tumble and joke.

A wise person (probably a ringmaster) once said, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” By asking a professional ghostwriter to work without pay, you are disregarding their value, their effort, and their profession. It’s the business equivalent of pulling down the ringmaster’s pants in the middle of the show – it gets a cheap laugh but leaves everyone feeling a bit uncomfortable.

The Exceptional Acrobats: When Free Work Makes Sense

Like any good three-ring circus, there are some exceptional scenarios where the rules seem to bend and twist, and ‘free’ might not be a four-letter word. Let’s consider these high-flying acrobats of the business world.

One such exception is volunteer work. Even though it seems to be as rare as a unicorn in our business-focused world, it does exist. Some ghostwriters might decide to use their word-weaving magic to support a cause they deeply believe in, just as a magician might perform for free at a charity event. After all, as the inimitable Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” However, it’s not a sustainable business model; it’s a conscious choice to lend their talents to a worthy cause.

The next exception is a little more commonplace – the friend and family discount. You know, the times when a skilled performer steps in to save the day because they care about the person in need. As Mark Twain once said, “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” A ghostwriter might offer their services as a gift to a loved one, knowing that their time and talent will bring joy or relief. It’s not a business transaction; it’s a gift from the heart. But remember, too many encores of this act can lead to burnout.

Finally, let’s consider the rare gem of reciprocity. It’s like when two trapeze artists perform a beautifully synchronized act, catching and releasing each other in a dance of mutual trust and support. A ghostwriter might agree to work ‘for free’ if they receive something of equal value in return. Like bartering services, or in exchange for exposure that might open doors to new opportunities. As Will Smith reminded us, “Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

So, while the rule of thumb in the circus of business is to pay for professional services, these exceptional acrobats remind us that there can be exceptions. However, they’re not the norm, and they shouldn’t be expected or demanded. After all, even the most skilled acrobat needs a solid ground to land on – and in the world of ghostwriting, that ground is fair payment.

Benefits of Quality Ghostwriting

Like the ringmaster who knows the importance of every performer, understanding the benefits of quality ghostwriting is crucial for businesses. A well-crafted narrative can captivate your audience, build trust, and position your brand strategically, turning the spotlight on your message.

Value of Ghostwriting Services

The value of ghostwriting services can’t be overstated, much like the unmissable role of a lion tamer in a circus. Ghostwriters tame your ideas, transforming them into compelling narratives that resonate with your audience and bring your brand to life.

Cost of Professional Ghostwriting

Every act in the circus has a cost, and so does employing the talents of a ghostwriter. The cost of professional ghostwriting reflects the hours spent researching, writing, editing, and perfecting your narrative, ensuring that when the curtains rise, your brand is the star of the show.

Conclusion – Respect Your Ghostwriter; Stop Asking Them to Work for Free

In conclusion, if you’re considering asking for a “free ghostwriter,” think twice. Remember the respect, dedication, skill, and commitment that goes into every word they write. Paying a fair price for a ghostwriter’s services is not just the ethical thing to do; it’s an investment in quality, professionalism, and respect. Don’t be the clown who undervalues a ghostwriter’s work. Be the savvy ringmaster who recognizes the value of every performer in the circus of business. After all, the show must go on, but only when everyone gets their fair share of the spotlight and the applause.

Richard Lowe
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A ghostwriter is a difficult job, but to ask for someone to work for free AND not give them credit is quite absurd. I wonder if someone would agree to do that.

Nikki Wayne

Ghostwriting nowadays is known. Thats is why many people should know the reason and how people should do this for them to know what should they expect.

Catherine Kay

This article on the absurd reasons for requesting a free ghostwriter is hilarious and eye-opening! It highlights the value of professional writing services and why respecting their work is important.


It’s crazy how many do feel they should get that service for free. Ghostwriting takes a lot of work and skills and in no way should they ever be taken advantage of, fair compensation is a must!

Bryan Carey

Ghostwriting isn’t easy. Anyone who is willing to do this deserves fair compensation. I am surprised that anyone would think they are entitled to something like this free of charge.