Carolyn Deck: Journey of a Lifetime, Her Passions and Inspirational Adventures

Carolyn Deck is a New Zealand native, world traveler, and author of Above the Turbulence: Your Ticket Out of Pain to Purpose. After growing up in a traumatic, dysfunctional home and living across New Zealand, Australia, and America, she uses travel as a metaphor for navigating life’s hardest choices. All book proceeds go to Faces with Names, a nonprofit supporting orphans and widows in Africa. Carolyn is also a Devo writer and co-author of Christian Marriage: Devotionals from Both Perspectives.

Host: Richard Lowe | Guest: Carolyn Deck

Interview Transcript

Richard: Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Carolyn: As you can tell, I’m from a little further south than Miami — I’m from New Zealand. I grew up there as a child. In my teenage years, I was an exchange student to Kansas for a year. I went back to New Zealand, became a travel agent, got married, had four kids, moved to Australia, had another one. Stayed there about 15 years, and I’ve been eight years in Chicago.

The Call to Write

Richard: You’ve written a book. Tell us about it.

Carolyn: It wasn’t my idea. I was working through a transform series at our church about transforming our thinking. I woke to hearing the suggestion that I should write my story. I wasn’t like Mary — I didn’t say “Here I am, pick me.” I said, “Stupid idea. My sister’s intelligent, she’s a teacher, she’s far more skilled. You got the wrong sister. And who wants to read my story?”

I very quickly heard back: “Actually, I know what I’m doing. I pick you. And it’s not your story — it’s my story. Because history is his story.”

What I’ve realized through writing is that I want to awaken people to realizing they have choices, even when choices have been made for them and are damaging. I grew up in a traumatic, dysfunctional home. Then I moved to another home. Then I came to America, moved to another home, went back to New Zealand — had no home.

I unpackage this in my book, but I want to empower people to realize that even in those situations, we still have a choice. It’s how do we respond? I packaged it in a creative narrative using my true theme of travel. Each chapter is a little story. I advise as we go along, as if I’m your travel agent — what you need to know before you go, how to pack, what not to pack, the perils of travel, destinations you might find yourself, and hitting home.

Writing as Healing

Carolyn: I did a 60,000-word “writer’s vomit,” excuse the expression. I had a lot of healing to process. Through dumping 60,000 words, I got to walk through a lot of grief.

I talk about it in a chapter where I was in France at Leonardo da Vinci’s last resting place in Amboise, a little village in the Loire Valley. He encourages us to go back into the dark chasms of our life, know our story, face them — and when we shine shafts of light in there, there is real growth.

I didn’t publish while I was bleeding. I processed it, then condensed it down to about 32,000 words. At my book launch, a lady said her biggest takeaway was to encourage people to know their story, live into it, and sift through it. It’s like looking down a kaleidoscope — all these broken shafts that hurt and are colorful and don’t seem to be in any sort of place. But as you keep looking, they fall into a beautiful place and become a thing of beauty. That’s what I had to do with my life.

Humility and Hard Choices

Richard: Can you explain what you mean about humility?

Carolyn: Sometimes I’ve learned the hard way that when I think I know and push forward, I can come very unstuck. Being open to realizing I don’t know, I need help, I need to refocus — and maybe listening to somebody else will help me refocus. Then I come to a crossroad. Am I going to listen to advice? Am I going to refocus? Or am I going to stay stuck?

Through that process, it is humbling, because you’re giving way to self. And from my experience, it’s often a far better journey. Not always easy. But the outcomes are usually better for everyone.

Rick Warren said something I hold onto: “It’s not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.”

Choices and Consequences

Carolyn: Do you realize that doing nothing is a choice?

Richard: Yes. And that frequently leads to more problems than if you’d made a choice.

Carolyn: During COVID, I would hear my husband in his Teams meetings — he runs a pretty big team — say, “Choices have consequences.” What he was driving at was: let’s make doing business easy for our customer. What’s the choice we need to make today to focus on making it easier for them to deal with us?

I also want people to realize that resentment, fear, sorrow, envy, anger, and hatred actually manifest in the human body. It’s scientifically proven that up to 80% of our illnesses stem from those emotions. So let’s choose — yes, I feel sorrow, but what am I going to choose to do to help myself get through this?

Connecting the Dots

Carolyn: I joined various writing groups, and that really helped me feel connected. I went to a writers’ conference in Texas and met a man called Eric Moves. We were chatting after a long day, and he said, “Some days you just join the dots.”

He’s the founder of a nonprofit called Faces with Names. My entire book proceeds go to help orphans and widows in Africa. It was crazy how he connected my dots. I loved Africa as a little girl. I went as a travel agent. My daughter built homes for an orphanage in Malawi. Then I met Eric. I’ve traveled with the people on the ground — Pastor Daniel and Mama Erica. And I’m going to go to Uganda with my daughter to see and help.

Proving Doubters Wrong

Carolyn: My son wanted to be a pilot. A teacher said, “Who do you think you are? You’re gonna be a pilot?” Well, he just signed with American Airlines. He’s a flight instructor and a hired private pilot. In his head, he said, “I’m gonna prove you wrong. That is my fuel to go.”

Richard: My college teacher told me I was never going to be a writer. He said I was terrible and had no hope. I listened to him for way too long.

Carolyn: Be careful who we listen to.

Richard: Is there anything you want to say to your audience?

Carolyn: We have choices, and how you respond matters. Make the choice today. Know your story and use it, because it’s valuable. You may find amazing nuggets in the ashes of your past that will help you fly.

The eagle is the only bird that flies into a storm. Every other bird flies away. The eagle sticks its wings out and uses the wind shifts to rise above. My book is Above the Turbulence: Your Ticket Out of Pain to Purpose. I have many tools in here — solid inspiration, encouragement, and tools from having traveled the world and navigated many changes. And when you choose to buy my book, the proceeds go to Faces with Names. Changing lives — start with yours.

Find Carolyn Deck on Instagram and Facebook.

Find Richard Lowe at TheWritingKing.com.