Interview with Brenda Haire
Brenda has been sharing transformative messages since 2006. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, she serves the defeated, discouraged, and distracted. She’s been there. Through her transparency, she helps individuals move along their faith journey. It is a journey! Brenda’s passion is to help you live a life worthy of your calling. She values life experience, relationships, creativity, and continual learning.
She and her hubs (as she so lovingly refers to him on social media), Darren, are both military veterans. They love hiking and chasing waterfalls. They live in Texas with their beautifully blended family and their loyal Jack Russell, Maggie.
Usually, this spot is reserved for telling you, in third person, how great I am. Well, I don’t like boring author bios, so I thought I’d just write from my heart.
My name is Brenda, and I’m a crybaby. I mean, if you spend enough time around me, you will probably see me cry. Seeing others cry makes me cry. Tears of joy or sadness, they flow just the same. I’m a romantic sap. I love LOVE!
I spent many years not feeling loved and wondering about my own worth. Now I help others discover their worth. Through my transparency, I help individuals move along their faith journey. It is a journey!
I’ve been sharing transformative messages since 2006. Through my writing, coaching, and speaking, I seek to serve the defeated, discouraged, and distracted. I want you to live a life worthy of your calling. I value life experience, relationships, creativity, and continual learning.
I love to do the unexpected. I’ve completed four half marathons and a sprint triathlon just to prove I could. I currently serve our community as the Director of LifeGroups and Social Media Content at our church.
My hubs (as I so lovingly refer to him on social media), Darren, and I are both military veterans. We love hiking and chasing waterfalls. We live in Texas with our beautifully blended family: Brittany, her husband Jake, and my adorable grandson Hayes; James and his wife Rachel; Beth (please wait about five more years to get married); and our loyal Jack Russell, Maggie.
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Interview transcript Brenda Haire
Richard Lowe 00:00
Hello, welcome to auto talks with Richard Lowe. I’m here with Brenda hair. She says she’s a cry baby. She says that means if you spend enough time around her, you will probably see her cry. Seeing others cry makes her cry, tears of joy or sadness. They just flow the same. She’s a romantic SAP, and she loves love. Welcome to the show, Brenda.
Brenda Haire 00:28
It’s funny that that would be what you start with my pastor sent me a picture from Sunday’s service. And as standing in the back of the room it was we had a big event that day. And it was kind of standing room only. So some of the members got up and stood in the back. And he asked if anybody wanted to be baptized, we were doing a spontaneous baptism that day, and about five people raised their hands. And I was standing in the back and I started crying. And the photographer, our staff photographer caught me crying in the background. So my pastor sent me the picture. Well, what can I say? tender heart?
Richard Lowe 01:05
Well, that’s a great introduction, Brenda. So how are you today?
Brenda Haire 01:12
I am great. Having a great day.
Richard Lowe 01:14
That’s fantastic. Well, thank you for coming to our little interview show. You’re I think you’re our I think we’ve done about 15 of these now. Thanks. I’m going pretty well. We just interviewed Mercedes Lackey, a pretty famous author. Oh, me. We got some other famous ones lined up and we got you. So maybe I’ll be famous someday. Who knows? You’re an author. You’re halfway there.
Brenda Haire 01:39
I’m halfway there. Yeah.
Richard Lowe 01:41
So why did you become an author?
Brenda Haire 01:44
Well, in 2003, I actually felt like God was calling me to be coming author. It took me 15 years to get there. I did publish a an anthology in 2012. But unfortunately, I wasn’t in control of the editing for that. And it turned out pretty poorly. So I never, you know, it’s like, don’t tell anyone. But I was in complete control of this one, this project. So I’m very excited about it. And it’s, it’s all God, he brought me here. So I’m just being obedient. It took me a little while to get here. But here I am.
Richard Lowe 02:19
And what triggered that, that decision?
Brenda Haire 02:22
Well, originally, I ran into an old colleague, and we were I was kind of searching for my purpose and looking, you know, what should I do with my life and that kind of thing. And she said that she had published a book, and she, she was someone I had held in high esteem. And so she said, she just published a book, and she’s quitting her job. And I’m like, what, and I had never known an author personally. And so it kind of triggered something in me, and she had a workshop. So I went and took her workshop. And then it kind of snowballed from there. But this particular project that my current book saved the Buttertubs came from my former book, put together with my grandmother story, my grandmother knew that I was a writer, and she had asked me to write about all the good in her life. And so I kind of married the two projects, because she didn’t give me enough to work with.
Richard Lowe 03:15
Well, okay, that sounds interesting. And how did it go? You’ve written some books. How did you go from there? What books have you written?
Brenda Haire 03:22
So this is my current book. It releases October 20. of 2018. And it’s currently for presale now for preorder now. So it’s exciting. The other process of Texas local kind of book and like I said, the editing was poor. So we’re just going to keep that hush hush for now.
Richard Lowe 03:45
Well, okay, what is that book about? That save the Buttertubs?
Brenda Haire 03:49
My current book? Yes, it is about discovering your worth. So it’s my journey of discovering my worth, partner together with my grandmother, who discovered her worth, and recognized her gifts and talents and use those to serve others. And so it’s me kind of coming of age at 45. I guess you could say. Yeah. So I’m helping others discover that they have what they are searching for.
Richard Lowe 04:17
That sounds extremely interesting. I liked the cover.
Brenda Haire 04:21
Thank you. Thank you.
Richard Lowe 04:23
It’s very unique.
Brenda Haire 04:25
Thank you. I hope it catches a lot of attention.
Richard Lowe 04:28
You’re gonna sell millions of copies.
Brenda Haire 04:30
That’s what I’m hoping for. I’m gonna accept that promise there.
Richard Lowe 04:36
All right. So what motivated you to write that book?
Brenda Haire 04:42
Well, I really felt like your pain can be your platform. And this was a pain point for me for many years. I’ve probably had more jobs than I can count for sure. And more jobs than I can have hands for sure. So I’ve always been I’m a workaholic. I like to work, but and I like to learn, but I haven’t, until now found what I really want to do. So it was a constant searching for this grand purpose or this epic, you know, title or whatever. And I’m coming up short time after time after time. And along the way, there was little, you know, said bits of the different jobs that I loved different aspects of the positions and things like that, that I did love. So not able to kind of make my own perfect position here as an author, speaker, coach.
Richard Lowe 05:35
Interesting. So you’re going to turn your book more into using speaking also in coaching.
Brenda Haire 05:41
Correct, incurring the course. I’m on chapter five. As of tomorrow, I have a group that meets in my home that they’re going through it kind of testing the waters. So I’m currently writing the course now and it’ll be a 15 week course.
Richard Lowe 05:57
Interesting. Now, if I went into your course, what would I get from it?
Brenda Haire 06:01
Well, I hope that you would discover that you actually have more than you think you do. And that leaving your legacy, that you’re leaving a legacy, whether you realize it or not. A lot of people think leaving a legacy, you have to have this, you know, like I said before, this grand title or you know, tons of money or a big estate to leave behind. And that’s, that’s not it at all. It’s what happens in the daily things. And I just hope to show people that in the daily things in the daily tasks and things we take for granted so often, that that’s what leaves a legacy, how we treat people daily.
Richard Lowe 06:40
Interesting, I like it already.
Brenda Haire 06:42
Thank you. Well, you know, it’s interesting that the title of the book, save the Buttertubs the subtitle is discover your worth in a disposable world. But the title came to me first, my grandmother’s say Brother Tubbs, she had him on the counter all the time. You know, she would send us with leftovers, put the groceries away, you know, that kind of thing. But when she asked me to write about her life, I was there one day wondering, okay, well, what are we gonna call this, you know, and at that time, I had no idea about partnering the two books together. And I looked across her kitchen, and there was a stack of butter tubs, and I said, That’s it, save the butter tubs. And so it wasn’t until last year about this time. Last year, I was at a conference. And I was in the stages of trying to put the two books together, that I got really revealed to me that I’m the better tub that she saved. And so it just became a metaphor. And it was really cool that the title came before the metaphor. So yeah, it’s been a cool journey.
Richard Lowe 07:42
Interesting. Interesting. All right. So it sounds like your books a little bit biographical, also,
Brenda Haire 07:50
yes, by biographical, but a bit of a memoir, a little self help. A little history history in there, we got to try to throw in some historical facts. My grandmother actually attended school at Mission a spot up in San Antonio, which is one of the five historical Hispanic missions in San Antonio. And it’s kind of like the Alamo. So it’s one of the World Heritage Sites, it’s really a big deal. So we tried to include some of the history. There’s some photographs in there of students back in the 1930s. So little bit history, Texas history as well.
Richard Lowe 08:25
Well, okay, and what you wrote this book, what’s your favorite memory about writing it?
Brenda Haire 08:32
Oh, gosh, my favorite memory about writing the book itself? Well, discovering the title metaphor was definitely huge. I wasn’t writing at the time of that. But it was, that was definitely a huge moment for me. Also, in the beginning of the book, I tried to not be very spiritual. I was trying to keep Gods separate. My grandma was very faithful, but she wasn’t very boisterous about her faith. So I was trying to keep it separate. And I was struggling, I was kind of getting writer’s block. And I’m like, where’s this in the app? And I had an outline for the book, but it wasn’t flowing. And I stopped and prayed and said, Okay, God, this is your book. I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s yours, do what you want. And I said, you know, I’m trying to lead you out. But obviously, I can’t. And he said, you right? You can’t I’ve always been part of the story. How can you lead me out of the story. And once that happened, I went from nine chapters to 15. Overnight, and went from 26,000 words to 60,000 words and with a two week period. So that was a pretty cool experience.
Richard Lowe 09:40
That’s an impressive rate of writing. Yeah,
Brenda Haire 09:42
it was very impressive. I was blown away myself.
Richard Lowe 09:47
Yeah. Of course. That was a first draft. Oh, yeah. It’s it’s
Brenda Haire 09:51
actually stayed around 60,000 words, believe it or not. It seemed like whatever we took out, we always put something back in. So it’s right They’re around 60,000 words still 238 pages.
Richard Lowe 10:03
That’s, that’s pretty good. That’s pretty good. One of the things I, I teach in some of the courses I teach some training courses on how to write is writers need to write an ad write often and fast. Yes. Because you can’t make a living writing one novel a year, one novel every five years or something. Yes.
Brenda Haire 10:22
Yeah, it’s funny, my husband, I woke up Saturday morning at four o’clock, and I couldn’t sleep. And I was already thinking about my next book. And so I just got up and outline the entire next book. And then my husband said, Why did you get up so early? And I told him, and he said, Well, we’ll wait. Let’s get through the first book. And I said, we’re through the first book, it’s here, like, it’s time to move on to the next one. And, of course, you know, we’re gonna get this one a lot of love. We’re going to do the course and do lots of speaking engagements and kind of book tour plans. So a lot is gonna happen with it. But it’s time to be working behind the scenes on the next one, for sure.
Richard Lowe 10:59
Of course, of course. So you thought you had choices to write lots of different books? I’m sure there’s lots of ideas that come to you. Why did you choose that one as opposed to anything else?
Brenda Haire 11:11
Well, my grandmother, when she asked me, she was in her late 80s. And I felt like time was running out, I needed to focus on her projects, in particular, and then marrying the two projects together just just seems to fit. There are several other books that you know, I had manuscripts written and ready. But this one was a timing issue for her. Unfortunately, she did pass in 2017. So she didn’t get to hold a completed copy in her hand. But she did get to hold, you know, some early writings. So
Richard Lowe 11:48
very cool. Very cool. All right. So what kind of tips would you have for other writers to help them out when they’re writing their books? Oh,
Brenda Haire 11:58
well, I have some good cover tips. I have some really good cover tips for people. I’m actually considering becoming a cover coach, because I see so many poorly drafted covers out there, that and then I talked to people and they’re like, I have six books on Amazon. And I’m not selling any of them. And I go look at their covers. And I’m just like, well, I can’t read it from the thumbnail to even read the title. The picture is unclear from the thumbnail, why would I even click on it, like you have an inch to get my attention one inch. And I think that that’s a huge thing, like, you work so hard to get the page filled. Now, put a pretty bow on it and draw somebody’s attention. You know, you know, most writers want to be read, there are people who write just for the sake of writing, but most writers want to be read. So you have to draw people’s attention. And most of its going to be on Amazon and an inch square. So you have to be intentional about your cover, and even in marketing for it. So as you can tell, I’m wearing yellow earrings and a yellow shirt, and my book is yellow. So everything in my life right now is yellow, yellow, yellow, just branding that and getting it over and over in people’s mind. So it’s not just the writing that writers need to think about, even if they’re traditionally published, self published, it doesn’t matter. You have to market your book. So that would be a huge writing tip for people to think it through. Also think through how you’re writing the book, if it’s, you know, if you want to design it for a coaching course, or, you know, speaking engagements, think that through to maybe including back ads in your book and things like that, I don’t think for the most part writers think of only writing. And I think that they need to think about the marketing aspect as well. So writing tips alone, let’s see. Don’t edit when you write. As hard as that is. Speak to text works really well, for some people that that helped me a lot. That really helped me in those days when I was moving from the 26,000, to the 60,000 words, to do speak to text, because I talk really fast. And the hard part about that is you have to make sure that you speak clearly. Because there was times that I couldn’t even read my own text back, which was funny. The tip to fix that is to read it really fast. And then it’ll it’s kind of like that game, that scrambled word game. You can figure it out. But yeah, so that’s a great tip for people is to talk to text. Sometimes it’s just our ideas flow better when we’re talking. We get hung up from you know, from trying to get it to hear to hear. So that would be one of my good tips. Another good tip is to sometimes you have to take a step back and actually free write with your hand versus on a keyboard. There’s something about that too that generates helps with writer’s block. I think one thing I did for writer’s block is created a playlist Music is really important for me. It’s created a playlist that kind of had go to songs, most of them talked about Dory or you know, what you want for your life, that kind of motivational songs stuff. And I would if I ever got feeling stuck, I would put on my playlist and kind of sing through it, and then go back to reading. So there’s several tips for you. How’s that? Well, that’s
Richard Lowe 15:23
perfect. And they match some of mine. I used to be sex also. Yeah, so I typically write about 10,000 words a day. Oh, wow. Which keeps me you know, making money because most of my writing skills driving. Yeah. And as far as writer’s block, I put on a white noise machine. So I don’t hear it just a fan. But it doesn’t produce any air and it gets rid of all the background noise because i Quiet. Yeah. But so, but I like speech to text. But it does take some getting used to and you have to learn to enunciate. Yes.
Brenda Haire 16:00
You do. Yeah. It makes you realize as a speaker that those tools are gonna come in handy as well. So,
Richard Lowe 16:07
yes, I learned I learned today the difference between mentoring and mentoring. Why do you keep spelling that word,
Brenda Haire 16:16
it wasn’t a funny story on myself. You know, as a writer, you should be able to spell right. Actually felt third grade spelling. It was a rough year, my parents got divorced in third grade, that’s, I’m gonna blame it on that. I’m gonna claim that you know, excuse once in my life. Then I failed typing in high school, because I actually had the chickenpox hands out of school for a week, and she would let me make up my work. So failed spelling and typing, so to tell is tattling on myself. But the third one, I could not spell the word fulfilled for the longest time, because I pronounced it fulfilled. So I would always type FLR and it wouldn’t come up. But I was like, Why isn’t it coming up? And I couldn’t look it up in the dictionary, because it’s not spelled with an F O. And finally, I figured out how to spell it correctly. And I’ve never had the problem since but when you can’t pronounce words properly, or your slang or your accent gets in the way it Yeah. It makes it quite humorous as a writer.
Richard Lowe 17:19
Yes, the, I guess you’d call it the semi autocorrect part of Texas speech can be very amusing. That’s not what I mean, especially when you have a song playing in the background and it picks up parts of the song and your writings. Yes, yes. Okay. So you talked a little bit about promotion and marketing, what would you recommend for people to promote and market both themselves and their books,
Brenda Haire 17:44
creating a launch team. I think creating a launch team and getting people behind you is important. Because if you try to do it on your own, it’s, it’s a lot to conquer. I started my launch team off as a prior team. So I started early in the process and started asking people that I knew were prayer warriors to start praying for me and kind of sharing the back behind the scenes process with them, getting them to understand like the journey of this. And of course, it was getting them early on to feel like ownership of the book and feel like they’re part of it. And then a couple of months ago, I turned it into an official launch team. And you know, I told them that, okay, now we’re officially a launch team, if you don’t want to be part of it anymore, because there’s things I need you to be doing as a launch member, then you can jump ship, and I won’t hate you. None of them did. And in fact, my launch team is over 700 people strong right now, some very excited, but I’m launching in three weeks. So I’m very excited to have a strong launch team behind me for a first time author. It’s it’s exciting. So I would say build a launch team.
Richard Lowe 18:50
And what is the launch team do for you?
Brenda Haire 18:52
Well, they are promoting it all over social media. So right now if you go to the hashtag worth saving, you’ll find all kinds of different people posting and sharing my content, which is awesome. I love it when they’re strangers sharing it. I’m like, Yes, I’m reaching people. I didn’t know that’s that’s the point right to reach people we don’t know. So it’s exciting to see that they’re sharing my content. They agreed to purchase a copy of the book by being part of the launch team, share reviews, come to the launch party, you know, all those kinds of things. So they’ve been great. I have a really great engagement has been great. It’s been exciting.
Richard Lowe 19:32
I’d be interested to find out more. How do you build a launch team of 700 people? You
Brenda Haire 19:37
do? Okay, so I do themes. This is probably something that I’ll end up teaching eventually as well. But I do themes. So the first month, every day of the week was a different theme and Tuesdays was add to Tuesday. So they were supposed to add two people every Tuesday. So of course people will add more. Some people won’t participate at all. And so there’s just started kind of growing there. And then as the next month switched, and we started doing different things, I would say things like, you know, tag people who bring back childhood memories or the your favorite person to laugh with or whatever. And so they would start adding people that way. Yeah. And so it just grew and grew and grew. It’s exciting.
Richard Lowe 20:19
Interesting. Interesting. All right. Now, what about promoting yourself in addition to your book? Have you found that to be useful?
Brenda Haire 20:26
Yes, absolutely. I think branding is key, letting people see your face. And being professional when they see your face. And when I say that, I don’t mean, you have to be like, completely polished, and you know, be something that you’re not my very first YouTube video ever. If you go to my YouTube channel, I’m actually wearing my pajamas. And I talk about this is me, I’m a writer, I work from home, this is what I wear every day. And so this is it. Like, I’m not gonna go put lipstick on for a five minute thing. You know, this is this is me. And actually, I think I may have put lipstick on. But I still wasn’t my jammies. And I think that that’s important. People need to see your face, you know, they’re think about yourself as a reader, like, I don’t know, for me, I read mainly nonfiction. So for me, I’m really buying the, the writer, as well as the book. And I guess it’s the same way for most fiction writers. I don’t know, I don’t read a lot, I probably read a handful of fiction books, my whole by choice my whole life. And so it’s probably the same, I mean, people buy into the kind of that cultish idea behind a series or, or things like that, I’m guessing, I don’t know. Am I right, Richard? Maybe
Richard Lowe 21:41
you are? Correct.
Brenda Haire 21:42
Okay. So they’re buying into the author, as well as the book and as well as the series. And so branding yourself and letting people get to know you. And, you know, even they think they’re your friends. And, you know, it’s really funny, I told my husband, I had some fans and another state, and he’s like, You have fans? And it’s like, well, they weren’t my friends prior to this book. So what else should I call them? Like, they’re, I don’t know. Um, and it was just kind of funny to say, you know, all of a sudden, now I have fans. But I apparently I have some. So it’s kind of neat. But you have to build that you have to work for that. And I think it comes through, oftentimes, often I can say this work, being authentic. And letting them see a little bit behind the scenes, letting them see that you’re real, you know, something that they can relate to, I think it really comes down to being yourself, people. They want to know what goes on in the, you know, they want to know who created this crazy story, or who lived it or whatever. So I think you got to be yourself.
Richard Lowe 22:40
That’s fascinating. And how do you remain productive day after day after day?
Brenda Haire 22:46
Well, that’s interesting. So when I was still writing, in the writing process, I was part of a zoom group with some other authors. And every two weeks, we would meet and hold each other accountable for kind of our word count, and some, you know, chapter titles and things like that, like, where are you in the process. So that helped having that accountability of every two weeks. Then once I once the manuscript was done, and it was ready to go to the editor, I thought, sure, I’m done. This is great. And it was like, oh, no, that’s just when the party gets started. So then it was, you know, cover choices and back cover copy, ad design that mean, it was one thing after another. So my to do list is really, really long. Let’s see, I have 38 things on my to do list right now leading up to launch week, that doesn’t include everything I need to do. But it’s just been since the manuscript has been finished. I’ll never forget, when I finished and I walked out and told me I said, I’m, it’s finally done, I was so excited. And then that night, I laid in bed and went, I have to do this, and this and this, and this and this tomorrow, like it’s and so that’s how it’s been, I mean, the productive side of it has just come because the next thing has to be done. So like even tonight, when I get off with you, my hardcover copies being delivered. So I have to proofread my hardcover copy, make sure it’s correct. And then push the button for to go live and order my hardcover. So it’s always the next thing. So this week, I’m working on press releases. For my launch parties. I’m having to launch parties, press releases book trailer, one thing after another so it’s, it’s kind of once you have your marketing plan laid out, I guess it’s a never ending. She always liked like up to a task. So
Richard Lowe 24:38
it’s a fascinating process, isn’t it? It is,
Brenda Haire 24:41
and I love every second of it. If this is what I was made to do.
Richard Lowe 24:45
Yes, I have 63 books on Amazon and it’s become overwhelming promoting them. Wow, that’s awesome. Yeah. But I wrote them all really fast. And I think they’re all pretty good. But anyway, So what is your favorite thing about being an author besides being in PJs on on video?
Brenda Haire 25:06
That’s actually not my favorite thing. I like being social and going and having lunches and doing stuff like that. So I like working outside the home. But I don’t. So I have to make an effort and be intentional about getting outside of the house. So I’d say my favorite thing is about being an author, what is my favorite thing? Well, I think just the whole process, it’s fascinating to me. You know, it’s fascinating that three weeks ago, I was a nobody. And now all of a sudden, people are fanning me, that’s, it’s crazy. And to see people’s reaction, like people are coming out of the woodworks, like, Oh, you’re an author. So I have a book I want. And now that all of a sudden, I’m the go to, like, they want to talk to me about their own projects, and that kind of thing. And it’s, it’s just fascinating that it’s like, I’ve been writing books for 15 years, and you never came to me. And now all of a sudden, that my baby was born. You know, the credibility, I guess that comes with this. It’s just kind of funny. But I guess that’s the thing I enjoy the most is just the process of it. And I love when, and my publisher told me this would happen, that I would get a letter from somebody that says, Your book has changed my life. And you know, the book isn’t released yet. So for that to happen already has been pretty incredible. My editor and my proofreader both have shared incredible stories with me. In my book, I share my grandmother’s passing. And the heartbreak that that was, and my editor as she was editing my manuscript out of all the manuscripts, she could be editing, her grandmother passed away. And so for her to be able to walk through that while she’s editing my book, it was just incredible. And, you know, her response back and even last night, I did send out first pages through chapter one to some of my launch team members. And somebody came back and said, I love your chapter titles. They’re amazing. So just those kinds of things. It’s like my chapter title. Okay, great. So getting that feedback is wonderful. haven’t gotten any haters yet. I’m sure those don’t come, I’m sure. Yeah, it’s inevitable, but that’s fine, too. So at least I know, it’s it’s reaching people that have to see it to hate it. So.
Richard Lowe 27:30
All right. Well, we’re coming up on the end here. Any closing remarks?
Brenda Haire 27:34
Well, I just thank you so much for having me. And I’m excited if if they can’t tell by my excitement, I’m excited about this process and excited about being an author. And I would tell people who are on the fence or who are struggling to become an author to press on 15 years of saying, I’m a writer, I can now actually say I’m an author, and it feels incredible. Had I given up, you know, I’d still be dreaming. And now instead I’m holding my dream in my hand. I’ll be doing speaking engagements. The book tour tour starts on the 14th. So it’s an exciting journey. Don’t Don’t give up.
Richard Lowe 28:11
Well, very good. Well, thank you. This has been author talks with Richard Lowe and I’m here with Brenda and her incredible book and thank you for appearing. Thank you so much. And remember readers out there or viewers out there, you can hit the subscribe button and you can get notifications of these videos. And thank you for watching. Alright, that’s a wrap
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I would like to know how to set up a book tour.
Delaine, I’m sorry I’m just now seeing this. Do you still need support in this area?
Oh so fun! Thank you for having me! I received some more amazing feedback today and I’d say hands down making an impact with my words is my favorite part of being a writer!!!
Fantastic! Glad we could help you. 🙂