Sora Vernikoff – Author of Eat What You Want
My name is Sora Vernikoff and I’m a No Diet, Weight-Loss at www.nodieting.net
My book Eat What You Want! Stop When You Want! A No-Diet, Weight-Loss Program became a #1 Amazon Best Seller when it was published and became the 2018 Distinguished Favorite by the New York City Big Book Award Contest.
It was over 20 years ago, that I healed myself of compulsive eating by transferring my classroom “management” techniques to food “management” techniques (taught really challenged kids in East New York, Brooklyn) and then developed an easy to use no diet, weight-loss program that I went on to teach hundreds of unhappy dieters.
I teach in a “very” simple way-Why Diets Don’t Work and why it’s Not Their Fault and then how to use The “Green” Technique.
How to be able to know when they will be able to stop eating the food that they want “Even Before Their First Bite!”
The Conversations with Influencers podcast has been brought to you by Richard Lowe of The Writing King. Richard is a ghostwriter, writing coach and LinkedIn Profile optimizer.
Interview Transcript Sora Vernikoff
Richard Lowe 00:02
Good day. I’m with Sarah Verna cough. And she’s an influencer. She’s a no diet weight loss person. And she’s written a book called eat what you want stop when you want a no diet weight loss program. It’s a fascinating book and it became a number one Amazon bestseller when it was published. It also won the 2018 distinguished favorite by the New York City Big Book Award contest. She healed herself of compulsive eating by transforming her classroom management techniques to food management techniques. And she taught challenged kids in East New York, Brooklyn and so forth, and then changed. An easy to use no diet no weight loss program that went on to teach hundreds of happy dieters. Okay, sorry, how you doing today?
Sora Vernikoff 00:45
Oh, um, you know, I just saw on social media. This is six months, we’ve made it six months through the pandemic. So I’m happy.
Richard Lowe 00:54
Excellent, excellent. Yeah, I’m, I’m pandemics been okay for me. I mean, my business got bigger, but I tend to be on the internet. And I was already sort of an introvert. So for me, working at home is what I do. And I use the internet to find business. So there’s the whole United States to choose from actually the whole world. How’s it how’s it affected you? And how do you survive with the pandemic?
Sora Vernikoff 01:21
Well, um, I decided to write another book. So, yeah, so um, that book required me to reach out to a lot of people and do interviews and teach things and, and so it’s been very beneficial. And I also became what I like to call myself resume that, you know, my life kind of centered around my walks and my Zoom sessions.
Richard Lowe 01:47
I would say that I’m pretty much the same. I of course, sitting all day long, it’s not good for the back. So I get up every couple hours and walk around my complex and talk to people from six feet away. Of course, everybody seems to know me.
Sora Vernikoff 02:01
Yeah. Well, let me share with you I had back surgery because I sat so much in my life that it just destroyed my bath. So not that I want to sound like a doctor or anything, should really only sit up to 15 minutes and lay on the floor for 10.
Richard Lowe 02:15
Yep, no, I understand. I understand. Yeah, backs are one of those things. I was not actually supposed to be able to walk my back was so bad. I went to a chiropractor who told me that he could help me and after 20 sessions, they barely have any pain at all. It’s very rare.
Sora Vernikoff 02:36
Very blessed. Just be careful. Just really be careful.
Richard Lowe 02:39
Well, yeah. Yeah, that’s the way it is. So how does your How does your no diet diet work? Changing the subject slightly.
Sora Vernikoff 02:48
Yeah, um, well, before I answer that question, I’d like to give a little background to take the listener to how I got to this process, because just sharing how the program works, is kind of meaningless out of context. So is that okay for you? Of course, please do. Okay. So, I taught in a city kids in East New York, Brooklyn, and it was really rough. You know, I used to dye it, I used to take off the weight. And I used to put it right on, even though I did everything perfectly. And in those days, I wrote this was over 20 years ago, I was keeping a journal on what I ate even then. And one day, I looked at these 35 kids in East New York, Brooklyn, who walked talked and did all those other things. And I said, help come Sora these kids listen to you. But food has no anaemic qualities, you can’t stop thinking about it, and you can stop eating. And I went only thought, it’s crazy. Because these kids listen to me and look. For a moment in time, Richard, I had an idea. And the idea was, what if I stopped buying? What if I ate the foods that I really wanted? But there was a caveat. And the caveat was, I’d have to journal every eating experience before, during and after, because I knew that I had to find out why my brain was thinking about food all day, and I had to write it up. So I did that for years and years and years, I every piece of food I put in my mouth, I wrote my thoughts before, during and after. And I took off 25 pounds, which just kept us at four. And at that point, as soon as I reached my goal weight, I knew that I could transfer my classroom management techniques to food management techniques. And I developed this note I ate established off process. Now, before then what happened was I needed to understand why diets didn’t work. So if you’re okay with this, I’d like to share with your listeners exactly why diets don’t work. And the good news is it’s not even their fault. Is that work for you? Please do. Yes. So what is a diet and this is in my book as well. I want you guys to think of your diet as a clock. Alright, so at 12 o’clock, you go, Oh my God, I need to take off somewhere, I really don’t like this anymore. I just looked at my last picture, and I’ve got to lose whatever you have to say, now. So you go on the internet, or you talk to a friend and you pick a diet. Now, there’s over 150 diets. And what I like to say is that diets work, why would we need so many? So you pick a diet? So what is a diet? A diet is a group of rules created by four people in a room, who decide what you can eat, what you can see, when you should eat, what and what’s good for you, and what’s not good for you. But most of all, don’t trust yourself. Don’t trust yourself, because you came to us because you can’t keep food out of your mouth. So let’s go to three o’clock. You’ve picked a diet, you’re following the rules. And you’re good, good, good. So three o’clock is good, good, good. Okay, I’m following the rules of the tide, I’m a worthy person, I can book the cruise because I’m not as afraid of food, I can buy a new dress or buy a new suit. Well, I’m really worth something because I’m following other people’s rules as to what I can and cannot fit in my mouth. So now let’s go to six o’clock. Six o’clock, is what I call the diet, binge diet over eating part of the class. So you’ve been good, good, good on this diet for a period of time. And you really, you know, you’re really proud of yourself. One day, and it’s different for everyone. It could be an hour for some people could be a day, it could be three days, it could be a week. For everyone, they reach a place on the diet, where they go, I can take this anymore. I just want one more piece of cheese. I just want one more Oreo. You know, I just want one quarter more of that hamburger. And so what do you do you start having food that’s not on your weight loss, plan your diet. And you can stop yourself? Well, here’s the good news. The good news is that you did the only thing that you could do to get back control from the diet, which again, I’m not your rules. But the negative part is that there’s a flip side to that coin, then you’re going to beat yourself up. Oh my God, because I just did. I can trust myself on no good low self esteem. I was following the diet. No, I just ate a bag of Oreos. I just had, you know, two more hamburgers. I’m just not a good person. And so what do you do? You get to nine o’clock, nine o’clock, you decide? Well, I obviously can’t trust myself, look what I just did. And I’m gonna go back to the diet. So you go back to 12 o’clock, you go back to other people’s rules. Now, the reasons diets don’t work is because they’re not your rules. And they’re based in deprivation, the best interpretation because they tell you not only what you can eat, but how much you can eat, that has nothing to do with what you want. Your goal is to lose weight, but has nothing to do with their rules. You’re just following their rules, because you don’t think you have any rules. At the moment before you learn about my program. Honestly, you don’t. But um, so I want everyone to give themselves a big hug. Now, if your arms around yourself, give yourself a big hug. Because it’s not your fault that you can stay on a diet or you lost your weight on a diet and you regain your weight. You’re just running away from other people’s rules. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So that’s why diets don’t work. So the question you asked me was, how does my program work? If did you ask me how my program works? I did. Yes, so. So what I found in my journaling, which is what held me and then when I that was that, um, the reason that I couldn’t eat and stop and that nobody can even stop. Is that because nobody knows how much is not before they eat the food. So you know when you go your Thanksgiving dinner and you sit around and everybody’s going at the end of the dinner oh my god, I’m so stuck Richard. Well, the reason they’re so stuck is because anyone not following my program and or anyone on a diet. The only marker they have to know how much is enough is to stomach that stuff stomach says, Oh my God, if I have enough and full enough, I can stop. So I want you and listeners to keep that in mind. And so basically I developed out techniques that let you know when you’re going to stop eating before you start eating. And that’s how my process you know, that’s how it works. You’re able to decide how much is enough before you eat. And because you know how much is enough. You’re going to be able to stop you Stop. And once you stop yourself what happens? Richard, when you have enough of something? Do you overthink it or think about it less? Think about it less of course, exactly. So what my process allows you to do is consciously diminish the visual repetitions of your food thoughts. Not only in your mind, but as a result in the amount of food that you want to take in your body. So when you use my process, it’s a true matching, you have a non overweight food, so I’m fine with a matching non overweight body. And that’s why people can keep the weight off. That’s another reason. Because even when you reach your goal on a tie, you still have an overweight mind. So the kind of really is no way out, except to make the choice to consciously decrease visual repetitions of your food. But, but that’s not possible without my process, because my process lets you manage your subconscious relationship with your food thoughts, which is wired, not well.
Richard Lowe 10:57
Okay, yeah. So give me a for instance, if
Sora Vernikoff 11:00
you would, what do you mean by that?
Richard Lowe 11:04
How would you handle me over eating for example, what would you well,
Sora Vernikoff 11:07
okay, so, what? So tell me, Richard, what food do you know that you have a hard time stopping out? And we’ll work we’ll go from there. Ice cream,
Richard Lowe 11:17
for example. Okay, ice cream.
Sora Vernikoff 11:19
I’m writing this down. Do you have a particular flavor? Or is it ice cream in general?
Richard Lowe 11:24
Oh, Vanilla. French Vanilla.
Sora Vernikoff 11:27
I love it. Okay, and what what brands? hard enough? Oh, that’s the highest calorie ice cream there is? Of course,
Richard Lowe 11:39
not great for diabetes either.
Sora Vernikoff 11:41
Okay, you know, eat is is you know, try it is. It’s 120 calories, vanilla. It’s like 100 calories, a half a cup and it’s not bad. They have classic vanilla and vanilla. And you want to try it? I’m just saying, okay. Okay. So here’s how you’re going to do it. I’m gonna teach Richard how to have his ice cream and stop. And I’m gonna teach all the listeners to do that at the same time. So I’m going to teach you Richard how to use the green technique. All right, all right. Now, because ice cream comes in a container. There are a few more steps, but it all is the same. So when you eat your ice cream, do you buy the very big half a gallon? Or do you buy individuals?
Richard Lowe 12:28
Well, usually they have a two for one. So I buy two half gallons.
Sora Vernikoff 12:31
Okay, two half gallons. So now I have to ask you a personal question, which you don’t have to answer, but it would give me a greater understanding of, of time tie, you sit with your food thoughts? So do you want to lose weight? Or is ice cream? Just what you go to for greater comfort?
Richard Lowe 12:51
Oh, I want to lose weight. And because that’s what I go for for greater comfort. So it’s both a true.
Sora Vernikoff 12:55
Okay, I need to write this down. Lose weight and greater comfort. All right. So first of all, what I would suggest right off the bat is that you buy the individual ones, because that would just really help you take a look at things better. So that would be the first. That’s right off the top of my head. I would say it’s not about money. It’s about making money, which is about making peace with food. Okay, and when you buy those two half gallons on sale, you’re really hurting yourself. Does that make sense?
Richard Lowe 13:36
Yeah, especially because I usually get guilty. I’m gonna throw one away.
Sora Vernikoff 13:41
Oh, that’s fascinating. Okay, so but he’s not gonna have to do that once you but first of all, you should not buy too. But if you need to buy two to throw one away, okay, you should if you’re going to buy one. So here’s, here’s how you use the green technique. So I want everybody before I teach you the green technique. I want everyone to think of a food that they have a hard time stopping to eat. I terrorizer was chocolate. And I have so much chocolate in the house now. It’s amazing. But that’s what I couldn’t eat and stop. So you’re in you go and you get out. You get the ice cream. Is that right? So let’s go through the process. You go to the freezer and you get the ice cream. Yep. Now, what do you eat the ice cream out of? Do you take the ice cream and put it in a bowl? Yes. What color? Is your bowl? Blue? Is it a big bowl or a little bowl?
Richard Lowe 14:40
It’s just a regular ball.
Sora Vernikoff 14:42
What’s the circumference? Six inches. Six inches Hold on. That’s a pretty big bowl
Richard Lowe 14:50
or maybe four inches or is better? And what kind of us do you use the same spoon all the time? Yes. Hey, same spoon. And where do you eat this?
Sora Vernikoff 15:03
Watching a movie? So you didn’t my chair in share watching movie, okay so here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna take this is the green technique everyone and I want you to follow the teaching model that I’m teaching Richard now so that you can do the same thing. You’ve got to the refrigerator, you take out the ice cream. This is going to be a two step process because the ice cream comes in a container. So the first thing I want you to do, Richard, before you take the ice cream out of the container. Do you measure the ice cream? Do you use a measuring couple you just split it out?
Richard Lowe 15:48
It’s usually four, four tablespoons, something like that.
Sora Vernikoff 15:51
Wait a minute, four tablespoons.
Richard Lowe 15:56
heaping tablespoons, of course, for heaping
Sora Vernikoff 15:58
tablespoons. Okay. I want you to ask yourself before you take ice cream out of the container, how much is enough? And how much is too much?
Richard Lowe 16:10
Any ice cream at all is too much.
Sora Vernikoff 16:12
Well, that’s why you’re struggling with ice cream because that’s not true. Because once you learn how to stop your okay, you see, once you learn that you can have that Nila ice cream and stuff when you want and you manage the ice cream. It doesn’t manage you. So it’s like a non thinking process. So the only reason you’re saying any ice cream is too much is because you don’t manage it. Okay, so I’m just going to show you how to manage it. You know what I mean? Okay, so I want you to look at the ice cream and and let’s just hold off on that mindset for a moment. I want you to look at the ice cream in the container. And I want you to ask yourself two questions. How much is enough? And how much is too much? I want you to do that for me. Now. Richard, you’re looking at the container. And you’re asking yourself how much is enough? And how much is too much. When you probably get heads?
Richard Lowe 17:03
Probably Probably a couple tablespoons is enough. And probably more than four tablespoons is too much.
Sora Vernikoff 17:10
Okay, so more than more than four tip but that’s not a lot. So I don’t more than four tablespoons is too much. Okay. How many times a day do you do this?
Richard Lowe 17:22
Well, if I start doing it only half of the half.
Sora Vernikoff 17:26
Okay, so you eat out. Okay, now I understand. So, all right. So now, Richard, before you take in any schematics, the container, you’ve asked yourself, how much is enough? And how much is too much? And you said about 14 heaping tablespoons. Is that a fair statement? Sure. All right. I want you now to pretend with good and I want all your listeners to ask themselves looking at the food that they decided that they’re struggling with? How much is enough and how much is too much and I want them to make that decision. Now, I want you to take out those four heaping tablespoons. I want you to pretend you’re doing this, Richard. Okay. And I want you to put it in blue bowl. Okay. All right. So now Richard, you have four, excuse me heaping tablespoons in a blue bowl with the same goal, the same spoon, correct? Yes, ma’am. And now I want you to ask yourself again a second time? How much is enough? And how much is too much? And I want you to tell me what you came up with.
Richard Lowe 18:33
Same numbers. Probably. Four is about right.
Sora Vernikoff 18:37
Okay, so here’s how the technique works. Okay. The amount of ice cream in your bowl is not enough. Because the techniques is that for you to know that you gave yourself enough ice cream, you will then have to ask yourself two questions. While the ice cream is in the bowl, follow my thinking. You have to ask yourself how much is enough and how much is too much. And now I want you to physically move what I call the marker away at that the amount is too much away from those four tablespoons. So if your four are still enough, I want you to just move a drop of ice cream to another place to another place in the bowl. So you have two amounts in front of you the amount that’s enough and the amount that’s too much. So I want you to do that now. Richard. Okay. Ask yourself again, how much is enough? How much is too much and then physically move the amount that’s too much to another place in your bowl. But if it’s just a drop, just put it on the rim of your bowl
Richard Lowe 19:45
of one tablespoon.
Sora Vernikoff 19:47
Fine. So put that in a place that’s separate. Separate from the from the amount that’s enough,
Richard Lowe 19:55
throw in another bowl.
Sora Vernikoff 19:56
No, you don’t do that. Okay, you can But in the same bowl, all right, we’re all ready to put in another bowl. Okay, fine. But in a bowl, that’s fine. That’s fine. So now you have now look what just happened, which it isn’t this interesting. Think about it. When we started this, you said, and you were in the container, you said four heaping tablespoons. And you put that in your blue bowl. Then when I took you through the exercise again, you actually were able to tell me on live reporting time, that one tablespoon of that was too much. Am I correct? Yes. Now that’s isn’t that interesting to you? Yes, it is. Yeah. Okay. So now, you have two amounts in front of you. Now, I want you. So everyone listening have two amounts in front of you the amount that’s enough, and the amount that’s too much, that I want everyone to eat the amount that enough, but not too much. Not too, too much more. So, Richard, I want you to pretend to eat, the amount that you decided was enough. I want you to pretend to do that now. And I want all your listeners to do the same thing. Well, I pretend to eat my enough chocolate.
Richard Lowe 21:13
Well, I just froze the roof of my mouth because I needed to fast.
Sora Vernikoff 21:16
Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m not interested. I understand. It’s inconsequential in this process. You know that, you know, if you go into Trishna she’ll tell you to eat slowly. My only concern is that you feed yourself enough so that you can stop overthinking food. So that’s my specialty. So over repetition. So um, so now, you just ate the amount that you decided was enough. And now I want you to look at the other amount that you decided was too much. I want you to do that now. Okay. Well, guess what? That’s your too much Marco, who’s now saying to you, who just ate and stopped because I helped you. You just ate and stopped because I helped you. I helped you know how much was enough. Okay. Okay. So once you commit to using the green technique, and you always ask yourself, how much is enough? How much is too much? Separate the amount that’s too much. And then enough, it’s enough, you will stop thinking about vanilla ice cream as much as you do now, because if you don’t use this technique, which is in plain English, nothing’s ever going to be enough. So why would you stop?
Richard Lowe 22:37
Good point. That’s right. Makes sense.
Sora Vernikoff 22:42
Well, kind of makes sense kind of get out? Yes.
Richard Lowe 22:47
I can see that.
Sora Vernikoff 22:49
Like, okay, this isn’t working, why you draw a line down the chart only this process. It wasn’t that simple. Like journal II. I still mark what I eat and make notes on it decades later. So I’m very familiar with the tricks you can play with food. But until you ask yourself before you eat, and show yourself you know, I like to equate the diet to the Pied Piper of Hamlin, you know that story?
Richard Lowe 23:17
Tell it to me. I’m not sure. Oh, well.
Sora Vernikoff 23:19
It’s just about a pied piper. It’s a it’s a grim spherical. I think don’t quote me on that. But the kids follow the Pied Piper and he leads them to the river and they drown themselves. So that’s what a diet is. You Drown yourself in tech regulation. There’s no control. And, and worse than all of that there’s no peace with food and there’s no self testing element. So you know, it’s just no way out.
Richard Lowe 23:43
Okay. Understood. Sounds like a fascinating technique. So you do this with all your food?
Sora Vernikoff 23:48
Yes, I don’t put anything in my mouth without a marker because then I’m not in control. Interesting. It’s that simple. If you want control of your food, Richard, you got to use the marker. Otherwise, otherwise, and we’re two strangers meeting on a radio who are having a conversation. I promise you that if you don’t use the marker, nothing will never be enough. And ice cream will run your life forever.
Richard Lowe 24:17
Yes, I can’t keep ice cream in the house, that’s for sure.
Sora Vernikoff 24:20
No, but you can now. Okay. So okay, here’s the thing. If you see you’re being very hard on yourself. What you know, there is another way out. Why don’t if you want to use this technique and you don’t want to bring in that ice cream. Why don’t you just give yourself the gift of buying small containers and working from that place. So if you take out one small cup of Haagen Dazs and you say how much is enough, how much is too much? Set aside a little marker and see how many of those containers you eat with a marker. I promise you that over time the number of containers that you will consume will diminish.
Richard Lowe 24:56
Okay, that’s interesting.
Sora Vernikoff 24:59
I I mean, of course, because boredom is no death of desire. And once you see that you can have enough of vanilla ice cream by buying the same little containers and eating every day as much as you want. And knowing you can stop yourself, are you going to want more? Or you’re going to want less?
Richard Lowe 25:17
Oh, less? I think, less I know. Okay.
Sora Vernikoff 25:23
But you know, that’s why I’m an expert.
Richard Lowe 25:28
I understand.
Sora Vernikoff 25:30
And I am.
Richard Lowe 25:32
I believe you. You sound like you know what you’re doing? And it sounds like it’ll work. But of course,
Sora Vernikoff 25:36
when I put myself on your show, if I had one, one iota of a doubt,
Richard Lowe 25:41
no, of course. Of course not.
Sora Vernikoff 25:46
Exactly. Yes. That’d be great. I couldn’t have this conversation if I wasn’t 100%. Sure.
Richard Lowe 25:52
Yeah, what I found in my diet is, like probably many people, it goes back to childhood I was rewarded with with food when I was a good boy. When things were going well, I got sugar, and things were going well, I got caffeine, chocolate. And that’s something that I’ve discovered about myself is I can’t use this probably has nothing to do with your diet, but I can’t use food as a reward for being for doing right. In that way anymore.
Sora Vernikoff 26:27
So because now because now you more grown up. And you know, there are other ways you can reward yourself.
Richard Lowe 26:33
Yes, exactly. Oh, really,
Sora Vernikoff 26:37
it really becomes a C becomes a conscious decision. So when you’re about to, let’s say you decide to use the green technique, and then you say, I’m not listening to that woman, and you and then you eat two half gallons or whatever. Um, who knew hurting?
Richard Lowe 26:55
Well, me, of course, right? Of course,
Sora Vernikoff 26:59
you see the here’s the thing. I’m not a therapist, it’s all in my book. I’m not a therapist. I’m not a I’m not a nutritionist, my obsession. Well, thank God, it’s managed now. But my curiosity was, why can’t I eat and stuff? Why? What is wrong with me? And I figured it out. Just because nothing was enough. Because what happened is, think about this the next time you’re entangled in a in a wall with food. See, what happens is that what happens is that I, what I do is in my next book, I talk about this much more. I like to think of your mind as a department store. And you have the ground floor, which is your consciousness, and then you have the app room. Why is this interesting to you? I
Richard Lowe 27:51
mean, yes, it is fascinating. Okay, so you
Sora Vernikoff 27:55
have the ground floor, that’s the stock room. Sorry, I didn’t eat breakfast. Yeah. The ground floor, that’s the ground floor. That’s your consciousness, your awareness. And then you have the stock room, which is your subconscious and your non awareness, and your subconsciousness Sackboy, since an elevator to the main floor, and then there’s your food puppet that sends thoughts to your main floor. But here’s the deal, the deal is that you can’t control the frequency, and the timing on your food thoughts onto your consciousness. And until you make peace with your food puppet in your subconscious, then you’re never going to be able to manage the over repetition of your food, thoughts and your consciousness. But this is all in my book. The book that I wrote that teaches the process, okay. I mean, yeah, if if you read that book, you will clearly see what the story is and, and I go much more in depth in my next book.
Richard Lowe 28:52
Okay, when’s the next book coming up?
Sora Vernikoff 28:55
From your mouth to God’s ears?
Richard Lowe 29:00
You don’t have you don’t have a publication date yet?
Sora Vernikoff 29:02
No, I’m totally not up to that. I’m working on my graphics. visual storyteller Richard. I don’t write the book. First, I designed the graphics to tell the story. And that’s just that’s kind of like my depth. I understand how to create a picture that cuts through all the words and all those 400 page books. I’m not interested in 400 I’m interested in a short book that takes you to the place in a fun and easy way.
Richard Lowe 29:29
Interesting. Yeah, I write I write from the words to the pictures. That’s interesting.
Sora Vernikoff 29:32
I can’t do that.
Richard Lowe 29:36
children’s books and I write the words first and then I then I get an illustrated illustrated.
Sora Vernikoff 29:41
Oh, oh written. This is really exciting. Because I have children’s books. I’ve already have three ideas that I’ve written the story for and children’s books, or children’s books are different. In my mindset. I’m actually a member of the Society for children’s writers and illustrators and storyteller Academy. I have amazing stories that I want to For the kids books, I know I have to write the story first. Even though I read the story, first, I’ll still create mock graphics in order to carry the story for the pagination.
Richard Lowe 30:10
Right? Of course, yeah, I describe the scene in words, oh, I want to write that down. So I paint the same but with words. And then I put in a dialogue and stuff. And then I move on to the next one.
Sora Vernikoff 30:23
Oh, that’s fascinating. I may email you one day on that. So that’s kind of my story. I’m a visual storyteller. If I have an idea. It’s usually begins with a picture. And so now I’m working on the graphics, my next book, and when I have my graphics, I’ll be able to write my book.
Richard Lowe 30:41
Yeah, that’s very good. Very good. So I’m a very image related person, but the images are in my head. So I write science fiction also. So I have the whole image of the scene in my head moving and everything three dimensional.
Sora Vernikoff 30:55
Well, you’re very blessed. You’re very blessed with good See, I don’t I don’t have scenes. That’s very interesting, Richard, I don’t see scenes. Usually, I use it to me, I have a love of objects.
Richard Lowe 31:08
See, so when I write when I’m writing the scene, I look at the scene in my head. One of the things about authors is supposed to show and not tell. So I’ll look at the scene. And I’ll describe it, I’m actually looking at it. And I’m looking at the hero or heroine and I’m looking at the the missile coming out or the gun flying or whatever. And I’m actually seeing it happen. And I’m writing as it’s happening. But, of course,
Sora Vernikoff 31:33
that’s that’s really awesome. I mean, you see the book that I wrote, which is available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. It’s called eat what you was up when you want a new diet weight loss program. I, I use images to take you through this whole process.
Richard Lowe 31:49
Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah, that’s, that’s interesting. So it’s an it’s a visual book. It’s got lots of
Sora Vernikoff 31:57
it’s a 511. I love workbooks. Don’t forget, I’m, I’m an educator. So for me, I have to give you many modalities to learn something. So in the book, you get to see it, feel it, touch it. You know, I’m all about that.
Richard Lowe 32:10
Interesting. Yeah. I’ve always had a difficult time being educated because not because of any educational problems. But because most teachers presented as just dry facts.
Sora Vernikoff 32:21
Well, I can’t do that because my brain doesn’t work that way. Well, neither does
Richard Lowe 32:24
mine, obviously. Because it’s, I’m immediately turned off when I walk in, I’m in a lecture and they’re just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I’m like, Oh, yeah. Give me something.
Sora Vernikoff 32:35
But you see, I live in the same I live in the same city. I cannot just look at words, I can’t remember that. i You have to tell me, you have to give me a graphic.
Richard Lowe 32:48
I like to get a story about it. So if I’m gonna, if I’m gonna, if you’re gonna tell me about giraffes, tell me a story about giraffes. Tell me how they live, how they operate, what they do, what they think? How they do they have relationships. Do they love each other?
Sora Vernikoff 33:03
Yeah, but the thing is, that’s not how, but unfortunately, basically, that’s not how education works.
Richard Lowe 33:08
Of course not education isn’t doesn’t work that way at all. Right? The educational system,
Sora Vernikoff 33:14
but I, you know, I struggled in school with in certain ways. I mean, I was good in certain things, and not enough things, but that’s normal. But what I really found is that once I have a picture, whether it’s like you said a scene or I or instructions that are related to a graphic, I can do well, but um, see, and my niece once said to me, and Zara, if you’re going to write a book, please don’t make it. Make it simple. And don’t make it long. Because I’ve really looked at books and they really sell flowery. There’s so unnecessary, it’s just get to the point
Richard Lowe 33:52
of it. Sometimes that makes it very short book that will sell sometimes.
Sora Vernikoff 33:56
That’s the problem. I get it. Listen, I get it. Yeah, I totally get it.
Richard Lowe 34:02
Sometimes books are great at the Great Lengths. There’s a book about Arnold Schwarzenegger his life that’s just fascinating from beginning to end, it’s all about him. And that’s what I like books about people that I know this is a little off the topic, but people books I want to find out what this person thought and how they acted and what they did and why they did it. I’m a history buff. Oh, okay. I like going back in history. Why did Caesar do what he did? And was he that’s full or not? And why was he assassinated? And and what did it look like? And what did your wife and what was she like? And so on and so on and just just get the whole picture of what was happening and then I understand, okay, this is what happened. And I, I like to do that with modern times. I understand. I’m very, very reading up on geopolitics, which is, geography makes politics so
Sora Vernikoff 34:55
that’s fascinating. You know, that’s truly fascinating. I like that very much geography makes politics Well,
Richard Lowe 35:01
yeah, there’s, there’s a theory that that bears fruit that says countries are the act the way they do because of their geography, like the United States is the way it is because we don’t have any net any enemies on this continent. And we have a big moat called the Pacific or the Atlantic Ocean on each side, nobody can attack us. So it makes us very arrogant. Because we really can’t be attacked, whereas Russia has, oh, has vast plains that people can attack across real easily. So they tend to be a little bit more paranoid, militant, militant. Because they’ve been attacked many, many times because they’re easy to attack, and so forth. And you once you understand the geography, you can understand how a nation operates and why it operates the way it does, like why is it? Why is the US acting the way it does? Now? It’s based on geography, and history.
Sora Vernikoff 35:51
You know, that’s, that’s actually really interesting. That’s interesting. But you know what, I’m, I have a commitment to not think about politics.
Richard Lowe 36:01
It’s got nothing to do with politics. This is geography.
Sora Vernikoff 36:04
Oh, no, I
Richard Lowe 36:04
think that’s very interesting patterns of people why people do what they do as a group. Yeah, politics, I tend to stay away from because you can’t figure it out with all the all the fake news and false reports and write and blah, blah, and blah, blah, this and blah, blah, that it makes my head spin and I just
Sora Vernikoff 36:22
write, and it’s not good, it’s not good. See, the thing is, I’m all about if you just manage your world, and if you come if you make these with your vanilla ice cream, you will have changed your world. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I’m all about the little things. You know, it’s like, what can you manage? At? How much in your life can you manage, so that you’re strong to deal with anything that comes your way?
Richard Lowe 36:48
I’ll tell you how I start each day, I start each day by thinking what am I going to accomplish today? What are my plans? What’s my goal for today? And what am I going to do that’s good today? And to heck with the bad? It’s just what am I going to do? That’s good, good for me, good for somebody else good for the world, whatever. And every single day I wake up, that’s the first thing I do. It’s awesome. Yeah. And it helps a lot, which is awesome. But I’m gonna take a walk, and I filled those out a little bit. So today, I’m going to finish up chapter for our client. Okay, good. What’s that chapter about? Fine, you know, don’t get in the details. And then another thing I’m gonna do is I’m gonna help somebody who needs some help, well, how do I find that person? And I’m smiling to the whole day, because I’m focusing on the good. And if you focus on what you get what you focus on, by and that’s kind of your, your program. Also, you get what you focus on, if you’re focusing on trying, you’re gonna, you’re gonna be focused,
Sora Vernikoff 37:45
you’re gonna die.
Richard Lowe 37:48
Well, you’re gonna start eating because you’re focusing on the diet.
Sora Vernikoff 37:50
Right? So my focus all day is how much is enough? Right? That’s all my focus is how much is enough? How much is enough work? How much is enough play? How much is enough food? How much is enough money? How many? How much do I have to do today to feel that I can let the day go and feel like I’ve done enough? Everything for me, my guide? Beside putting the higher power first is how much is enough?
Richard Lowe 38:15
Right. Right. Exactly. Because you can only accomplish so much. We have some physical,
Sora Vernikoff 38:23
you know, something? That’s another thing that I’ve had to learn that I’m good enough is good enough.
Richard Lowe 38:29
Well, yeah, yeah. And there’s there you can people can do anything. I mean, look at look at some of these billionaires, they started off in the streets, Bill Gates started off as a right, just a millionaire. And now he’s one of the richest people in the world, and just one lifetime.
Sora Vernikoff 38:45
You learn Buffett, Warren Buffett,
Richard Lowe 38:47
these people last bit didn’t start as billionaires, the famous ones they started as normal people. And you can do anything at any point in your life.
Sora Vernikoff 38:57
But I happen to agree with you, Richard, you see, I really happen to agree with you. Because Because look what I did, you know, if I didn’t do my work, I’d be rolling down the street. And I and I’d be going to Barnes and Nobles and looking. You know, this, no one has this process, but me. So I decided decades ago that something was wrong, someone wasn’t telling me the truth. And I really, really studied my brain 24/7 Or even to this day, to understand how to make the best life possible. And there’s only one way and that’s to manage your subconscious relationship with any thought that’s really disturbing you and there are ways to do it. But the process I developed is particularly applicable to food. So, you know, kind of my mantra is until you decide that you’re going to feed yourself enough you’re gonna die. You’re gonna live in a world of deprivation and you’re going to be at war with food, the rest of your life is not a choice that I want to make.
Richard Lowe 39:58
Well, I don’t want to be at war with anything.
Sora Vernikoff 39:59
You All right, but now you see how you see how you said Richard? Um, you know, I’m not gonna bring any ice cream in the house. You see how you made ice cream the enemy?
Richard Lowe 40:09
Well, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Sora Vernikoff 40:14
Yeah. So right away we know, Richard, that you and vanilla ice cream on different teams. But it’s tricky. So the trick is to you have to sell yourself ice cream to bring it to your team.
Richard Lowe 40:30
Yes, yes. But you
Sora Vernikoff 40:32
don’t have to, you know, by the way, Richard, you know, we’re having a discussion here. You know?
Richard Lowe 40:38
Well, it’s a theoretical. Some of this is theoretical. I don’t view ice cream is the enemy. It’s actually me. It’s my own thoughts that are the problem, not the ice cream.
Sora Vernikoff 40:49
You see, but you aren’t the problem. Your thoughts are your thoughts. They have no meaning. It’s the fact. Like, like I said before, Richard, what my specialty is, is I’m an over repetition, expert. So whenever there’s a problem is always over repetition. So my job is to go in and say, Okay, let’s look at the types that are challenging you. If you think that not a lot, and let’s find a way to put a bandaid on those thoughts so that you manage them now.
Richard Lowe 41:20
Okay, that sounds very interesting.
Sora Vernikoff 41:23
Well, that’s my next book, in great depth, if you want.
Richard Lowe 41:30
But I thought the goal was to get a knife and just rip that thought out of your head. No kidding.
Sora Vernikoff 41:35
No, I’m not my I’m not violent. I’m so passive, you know?
Richard Lowe 41:39
Yeah, yeah, I tend to be pretty pretty laid back to.
Sora Vernikoff 41:42
I’m slowly bad. I mean, really? I’m very laid back. I’m very hard worker. Do you know what I’m saying?
Richard Lowe 41:48
Yeah. Yeah, but because I’m a writer, my thoughts go into these interesting tangents.
Sora Vernikoff 41:54
You’re a writer, hello.
Richard Lowe 41:56
I’m always imagining things. I walk through a forest. I’m imagining elves and stuff all wandering around
Sora Vernikoff 42:00
sweet. You know? That’s, that’s very sweet. Okay. That’s, you know, when I walk through a forest, there’s only one thing I want to do. And that’s not thing.
Richard Lowe 42:12
But when I look up at the sky, I’ll see space wars or space space aliens coming or whatever. Or when I look, look at water, I’ll see the Lady of the Lake coming out of the water. These are these are thoughts. These are imagination. And I’ll think of a story I want to write and then I’ll write
Sora Vernikoff 42:24
- You keep a notebook with you at all times.
Richard Lowe 42:28
I do write well, dictation. I dictate. Oh, you
Sora Vernikoff 42:31
did too. Well, you know, I you look you have many, many gifts, Richard, like you. I’m just very committed to, to. To learning to manage my thoughts as best as possible. Of
Richard Lowe 42:48
course, of course. That’s my commitment, of course. And that’s important to manage your thoughts. Because, I mean, I have a good imagination. But I know the difference between reality and illusion. It’s when when that that barrier fades, and people don’t understand. That’s an illusion is when they start becoming a little less sane, perhaps
Sora Vernikoff 43:10
a little excuse me, being nice.
Richard Lowe 43:14
There, you have to understand reality. Yeah, you can you can dream all you want. But what is the reality, you know? But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. When people tell me Oh, it’s some somebody comes and says, Oh my on the world so hard. There’s this pandemic, and there’s no jobs to be found. I point to this guy on YouTube, who has no legs, no arms, and he’s still a millionaire has a wife and kids, you know, short, short guy dances and stuff on stage with his little stumps and things. It’s like, if he can do that, you can get off your butt. Find something to do, even though there’s a pandemic on.
Sora Vernikoff 43:51
You see, I’m a planner. I like to think of myself as a possible scenario. And so I so as soon as you tell me, there’s no way. I know, there’s a way.
Richard Lowe 44:03
Yeah. We landed, we landed on the moon and a tin can. I mean, if you look at the Apollo Project, oh my god, they went to space in that thing. We can do anything?
Sora Vernikoff 44:16
Well see, doing anything requires a couple of things. One is that you like it requires that you decide that you’re not stuck that there is a way that there’s another fork in the road. Of course, too. You have to sit down and put on paper a plan of a fork looks like step by step. You don’t know the outcome that you need to know the first step away, you can’t be lazy. If you’re lazy, nothing’s going to happen. And what I find about folks, in general is that um, that it’s you know, work is work and a lot of people don’t want to do the work.
Richard Lowe 44:57
Yeah, well, that’s one reason why I chose ghost right? as my career because, I mean I was in the computer field for 33 years I managed well known as a trader joe’s department, computer department for 20 years. That was making a lot of money. But it was just a job. I was good job paid, paid the bills, and I was making tons of money, but I decided it wasn’t my passion. So I went and became a ghostwriter. This is my passion.
Sora Vernikoff 45:20
I think that I think that a ghostwriter is really interesting. I mean, it’s I think that’s a very interesting thing. I mean, I personally, me personally. I have to do the work. I’m just that kind of person. Yeah,
Richard Lowe 45:43
yeah. Well, my my clients have to do some of the work to they have to give me the ideas because Strider doesn’t doesn’t come up with the ideas that ghostwriter writes. So I’m, like you hiring a contractor to build a building? You’re, I mean, you might well, you might hire an architect to but right, I would hire an architect first. Right. But it’s still your idea that there’s a building that you want there with three bedrooms, and loft and this kind of thing? Well, I when I read a book for somebody, I’m getting I’m taking their ideas, and I’m translating into into painting it into words.
Sora Vernikoff 46:18
Fascinating, fascinating. It’s really I’m delighted to chat with you in this venue, because you never know, you know? Yeah. You never know. You just never know, especially when the day comes whenever that is that I want to do a children’s book. I already have. I’ve been on a lot of calls on, on what makes a children’s book, because what I am is I’m a student, you know what I mean? I need to study the process, because I’m process driven, right? So I need to study the process. So once I learned what the process was, I love storyteller Academy. It just offered so much free information. And it’s just really put so many ideas in my head. And then I I mean, I have great ideas. I have a great idea for a kid’s book on how people living in the house can lose weight in the in the most fun way. Sounds exciting. Oh, and I and how do they do? Well, I don’t I can’t go into it. Right. But it’s a great, great, great, listen, I’ve taught for 30 years. So I really know kids, I know what they can handle. And I I’m a visual storyteller. So I came up with a really good one on keeping folks keeping weight off the you know, the it’s so cute. I can just so cute. So I’m looking forward to the idea based on the next book I’m writing already have kids. So you know, but I’ve learned to just take one day at a time. That’s the greatest thing. Just one, you know, I have a saying just you don’t see the harvest on the day you plant the seeds, you know, and that’s kind of how I live my life.
Richard Lowe 47:57
I think the best way to live life is to live in the now. Oh, and some people have written books on that live in the now. And there’s there’s several of them and right. And if you live in the past, while you can’t change it, there’s not a lot you can do about it. If you live in if you live in the future. Well, what about now? You know, you eat now and stuff. If you live in the now that’s that’s pretty much the best way I think,
Sora Vernikoff 48:20
Oh, is it but it’s the only way because we have no control over the future. You don’t know what’s going to happen today later in the debut. I mean, we have no control. Yeah, of course. Of course. control we have is right now I’m talking to you if if a bomb drops and I had a conversation with you, I found out that you’re a ghostwriter that you’ve written children’s books that you see scenes when you walk in, you know, in the forest. I mean, so I’m thinking this information, but this is all there is for me right now. And when the phone call is over, I take the next step. But if I think but if I think about all what’s going to be in the yep, I mean, with life the way it is, you know?
Richard Lowe 49:00
Yeah, of course that’s doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan and make sure you’ve got your contingencies covered and things like that. But you live in live it means you live in the now a lot of people live in the past there they’re so concerned about things that happened to them in our childhood I had a lot of sad things happen in my childhood right because my childhood it was 50 years ago What do I care there’s not I can’t do anything about it.
Sora Vernikoff 49:23
Well, but I can but and I’m not I’m not taking I’m not taking coach license here. Let me share with you that every time you every time you eat too much ice cream you are living in the past.
Richard Lowe 49:37
Yeah, well most likely yes. Because like I said, it definitely comes from a childhood habit. Right and a reinforcement by parents who thought that giving their children sugar calmed them down which obviously is counterintuitive because sugar doesn’t do that. But it shut me up. It got them got me out of their hair for a little while. So that was
Sora Vernikoff 49:58
probably you know what I hate to say but Every parent is different bribes and they knew that you like sugar and when they wanted to deal with you, it was easier for them to give you sugar. You know, I am so principled on this that when I used to teach, most teachers give out candy, okay. Mostly this shed kids don’t like to say that. Oh, you know, to get their class quiet, let’s be politically correct. If you’ve been candy, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t. I gave I went, I found the most exciting stickers you can imagine on this earth. I went to Greenwich Village and found moving stickers, jumping stickers, you know, I would only give them a sticker because I didn’t want to reinforce the mouth business, you know?
Richard Lowe 50:43
Yeah. When I was in. One of the things I remember from childhood, good memories are going to the library and getting a little stamp every time I read a book. I still have that page. I don’t remember these librarians who gave me candy. I remember the ones who gave me the stamp. Still have the stamp, actually. Oh, wow. You know, what, 50 years later?
Sora Vernikoff 51:02
Yeah. You know what? Everybody has the way to the way to shine your now I like that the wait to shine. I mean, I really don’t want to get deep into this subject.
Richard Lowe 51:16
We need to wrap it up anyway. Yeah.
Sora Vernikoff 51:18
Because there’s so much that can be said. And it’s really an endless subject. And I’m, all I can say is I have a sign in my apartment that says each day has its own unique adventure. And me personally, I just like to do the best I can with each day.
Richard Lowe 51:35
Of course. That’s the best way to live. Do the best you can for you today.
51:39
Oh, I love that. That’s great. I want to write that down. Do the best I can for me today. Do the best I can. For me today. That’s really lovely.
Richard Lowe 51:49
Yep. Yep. So anyway, any closing thoughts?
Sora Vernikoff 51:55
Well, my closing thought is that to all you guys listening out there that might be struggling with food. You can do it. You can do it. You can find my book on Amazon, you can find my bucket Barnes and Nobles, you can put on my website, no dieting. If you really want to make peace with food, if you want to find your best self without using food to support that best self in a way that you find unhappy after you do it. I mean, you’re not unhappy when you do in it, and you’re unhappy if you do want it, then buy my book step out. And like dieting. Well.
Richard Lowe 52:36
Excellent, excellent. Yes. It’s it’s a method that has obviously helped many people and go out and buy your book. Do it.
Sora Vernikoff 52:47
That’s right. Well, what was his name? He. What was his name? Do it now? I
Richard Lowe 52:52
don’t know. I don’t know. In the sky. He
Sora Vernikoff 52:55
just asked I think.
Richard Lowe 52:56
Okay. Yeah. All right.
Sora Vernikoff 52:59
Well, thank you so much. And I really enjoyed this and I hope that everyone listening out there feels hopeful about their relationship with food now.
Richard Lowe 53:07
Okay. Thank you. And thank you for appearing on the show. Thank you.
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